MAKE A GOOD OPENER AND I JUST MIGHT ADD IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ARE YOU SHY? (craigsd)
Are you guys shy? I've been standing here talking to my friend for like 5 minutes now and you still haven't said 'hi".
BLIND DATE (Eddy)
Walk up to a girl or a group of girls. (no guys in the group preferred you will know what I mean)
Say loud and clear, "hey, I need your opinion on something."
"I am going on a blind date with some girl and I am very nervous about
it. Is there any tips you can give me so I don't look like an idiot. I
don't really know how to dress to impress or act the right way" (Act as
AFC as you can to disarm the bitch shield)
NOW some girl would just tell you "be yourself". you should reply with
C&F line or expression. What I did was I made a very serious face
and said "like this?" which cracked them up. I then put up the serious
face again and said, "I need to know", and then change to a happy face
and said "come on, tell me the secret to girls' hearts, and how do I
dress to impress. If you were going on a blind date, what would you
like the guy to look like".
At this point at least one girl would volunteer to give you a few tips,
and then more will follow. You can then ask all the questions you want
to those girls until they go dry (EV). Or you can run some patterns and
move in to your routines.
Depends on how well you spin it, you might be able to get one of the
girls out shopping with you or more. The danger of this opener is, they
might give you advices to be AFC, i.e. buy her flowers...blah blah
blah. It is your natural ability as an ASFer to filter out the useful
info from the AFC ones.
***I have found a better way to use this opener. When I go out with
totally NEWBIE guys I meet off PAIR or from my Lair, I'll use this
opener but make it about the newbie and put him on the spot and into
the interaction. this way you don't have to come off AFC***
COLOGNE OPENER (MM)
In a mall put on a different cologne on each wrist and ask girls which
one smells better on you. Go back and forth several times between arms
and make cute faces when you do.
Have something queued up and ready to go immediately afterwards.
COMPLIMENT OPENER
Compliment her on something she's wearing or her hair or just style in
general. The trick is compliment openers are to never compliment her on
her physical beauty.
You have an incredibly energy about you
You have an artless grace
That's an incredible whatever-x accessory/garment
DATING FOR DUMMIES (Herbal)
Go find the Dating for Dummies book. It's bright yellow and black. I
forget the exact page (78 maybe?), but find the page that has "NEVER
USE THESE LINES" on it, and keep the book open to that page.
Walk up to a girl BLATANTLY and hold the book up in front of your face
so she can easily read the title. She might start laughing, depending
on how you do it.
Then slowly lower the book and read the lines. "So... come here often"
in a super player voice. She will crack up and answer you. Break your
"smooth" look on your face and quickly bring the book back up and read
the next line "What's your sign?". She will laugh again and probably
answer.
Then I usually say "Wow... this works great. Your turn". It puts her on
the spot. You can flip to random pages and do tons of role-play... the
breaking up stuff is great.
Eventually just stack with a relationship related opener, and you're
in. I've done this a ton of times and it never fails to open.
DAVID BOWIE (TylerDurden)
Hey guys, I need a female opinion. Do girls think the rock star David Bowie is hot?
(blah, blah, blah)
Get this... my roommate's little sister, she's 7 and half years old,
has a HUGE picture of David Bowie on her wall. I'm not talking an 8x10;
I'm talking a 4-foot by 6-foot POSTER! It's like the first thing she
sees when she wakes up in the morning.
David Bowie is a freaky looking OLD MAN! She's like 7 and he's like 70.
I'm seriously worried about my roommate's little sister.
DIRECT OPENERS
Hi, I like you. And I'd like to get to know you.
Hey, What's up?
Where are you going?
You're cute, are you friendly/interesting?
You guys are so adorable. You have such a cute group dynamic going on. I want to meet you guys. My name is x-name.
How are you?
You look like someone I'd like to meet.
Can I ask you a quick question?(Sure) Are you single?etc.
(I have a lot of successes with these on girls that are HB7 and lower or older women)
DENTAL FLOSS (Style and Mystery)
Hey guys, I need to get your opinion on something. It's very important,
and we need a woman's perspective. It's a matter of life and death.. My
friend and I were having a debate and your answer could completely
change my entire life....
Do you brush before floss or floss before brush? No one knows.
DON'T TOUCH ME (David D.)
When a girl bumps into you in a crowded club tap her on the shoulder
and say "don't touch me" . have something to immediately follow up
with.
DRUG DEALER OPENER (aceofhearts)
Used with a wing at night, with funny, just-got-done-laughing tonality.
"Hey, I need your opinion on something...does my friend here look like
a drug dealer?" (chicks usually either laugh or look quizzically)
"Because we were outside and some dude came up to him and touched him
on the shoulder like this...
(cheap kino on girl) and asked, 'Hey man, you got some E?'" Ideally you
will use this with a wing who doesn't look too straight-laced.
I've done this where my wing will open with this and I'll pipe in with
"Since I've changed my look I get asked, "do I party" like all the
time. I think they're looking for cocaine. Another thing I've noticed
is about 10 times a night I'll get someone coming up to me and asking
"can I bum a cigarette". I don't smoke but I'm seriously considering
carrying around a pack. but not like regular cigarettes. like Virginia
Slims 120s. then I'll just pull one out and hand it to the guy and
he'll be all like "WTF?" etc."
EIGHTIES DOG (Swinggcat)
Hey guys, I need a quick opinion about something. My friend just got
two puppies, a Pug and a Beagle. She wants to name them after an 80's
pop duo. she wants to name them. DURAN DURAN. I think that's a horrible
idea. you can't have two dogs with the same name. Do you guys have any
ideas?
I was thinking Sonny and Cher would be a good one, because the Pug dog
is a male and the Beagle dog is a female. But they're 70's, not 80's,
so that won't work.
Maybe Axel and Slash would be good, but they're rock n' roll hair band style.
Milli Vanilli was a thought, but those are both guy names. We need a female name. Plus, Milli doesn't fit a Pug or a Beagle.
EIGHTIES MUSIC (Twentysix)
Hey guys, help me out, I have this song stuck in my head ALL day and I
can't remember who sings it. it goes "you spin me right round baby
right round like a record player right round, round round, etc...." who
sings that???
(blah, blah, blah)
I was talking to my mom earlier today and she said its Lionel Richie. but I KNOW that isn't right!
Then later in the night you can like reopen with "Dead or Alive." This works with any one hit wonder 80s music.
ELVIS OPENER (Mystery)
Did you know that Elvis dyed his hair black? What was his natural hair color?
Dirty Blond.
Did you know that Priscilla Presley also dyed her hair?
I don't know what her natural hair color was, I'm not Cliff Claven, but
can you picture that these two every couple of weeks would dye their
hair black together around a dirty sink in some sick mass-appealing
ceremonial ritual? I bet people never considered that before ... did
you?
Alternative:
Did you know that all Elvis had to do to get a shag was look directly into the girl's eyes and smile?
Then look into the chick's eyes and smile.
EXPENSIVE CLOTHES (TylerDurden)
"Hey guys, I need a female opinion... we were just Saks today, and
there were all these 600$ collared tee-shirts. when chicks see guys
wearing 6bill shirts like that, do they think its classy or try-hard?"
(That's the skeleton obviously use your own speaking mannerisms).
Then you can use what info and opinions they give you to bust on them, using all the usual stuff.
FAT ELVIS (Wilder)
Hey guys, if you were going to hire an Elvis impersonator for your
friend's birthday party, would you hire a young Elvis or a Fat Elvis?
blah, blah, blah. (if she says young Elvis bust on her for being shallow)
Get this, my roommate lived in Graceland for a year and he said the
craziest thing. He told me that the fat Elvis impersonators always got
the hottest chicks, and the young Elvis's were always alone. I couldn't
believe it at first, but I thought about it, and it kinda makes sense.
I guess women just lose all control when the see a fat Elvis
impersonator doing "hunka hunka burnin' love."
FASHION TIP (Kooper)
I think this is highly underrated.
Just go up and just tell them how they would look EVEN BETTER to you.
"Wear your hair open", "open that up one more button", or just fix
their clothes. tell her what would look amazing on her.
Train your eye to look for imperfections and what to do against them.
For the clueless, get two-dozen model magazines and look through the
pictures SEVERAL times so you get some idea. Try to make up negs for
these girls and point out what would look better on them (the model
magazine idea is cro_badboy´s)
This sets an interesting frame. first of all, you are teaching her how
to please you, if she reacts well, praise her for being a good puppy.
Second, it is obvious that you are the prize, that you have standards
and that you know what you want.
Women love the idea of seducing you, you just gotta teach them HOW and they will comply.
This is *not* delivered playful or c&f or anything, just a genuine comment.
From there, it's easy to launch right into a routine (for example you
can talk about what and how much clothes say about people and cold-read
her right there. whatever you want.)
GAY OPENER (aceofhearts)
Preferably used with a wing and with a game-show host/party host
attitude. "I need your honest opinion on something...do I look gay?"
Some chicks will bust out laughing when you ask this. "...Because
something really funny just happened, this dude was hitting
on me in another bar!" Better is to use this with a wing and change it to
"Does MY FRIEND look gay" because it eliminates the self-conscious
aspect. The person who was supposedly hit on must play it off as
something totally funny and even flattering.
GIRLS FIGHTING OUTSIDE (Mystery)
With great enthusiasm... "OMG!. did you see those two girls fighting
outside? Like right outside the club... they were totally going at it;
one was pulling the others' hair, and the other one drew blood with her
nails. And they seemed to be fighting over this short guy; he was
standing near them just totally laughing!
JEALOUS GIRLFRIEND (Style)
"Hey guys, I need a female perspective on something. This'll only take
a minute. My roommate's girlfriend just found a shoebox he keeps hidden
in a dresser drawer, and she's really upset about it.
It's nothing bad, just pictures of him and ex-girlfriends on vacation
and old love letters he got in high school and stuff. But for some
reason his girlfriend is freaking out about this and wants him to get
rid of it or she's threatening to break up with him.
Is this normal female behavior?"
So now she wants him to burn the box or she's leaving him, isn't that fucked up??
(girls get ridiculously into this opener and it helps if you tease them for it)
KHAKI OPENER (aceofhearts/superfly)
Hey, guys, my friends and I were making fun of some frat boys, and got
into an argument...is khaki a color or a fabric?" The correct answer is
that khaki is a color, and most girls know this. You can go into, "See,
I was thinking it was a color, but the thing is that you never see a
khaki car or wallpaper color or anything like that!" then fire into
your next routine...
KINO OPENERS (TylerDurden)
Pushing girls, grabbing drinks out of their hands, lightly hip checking
them, snapping bra straps, grabbing hats off heads, poke her, tap the
opposite shoulder, etc.(these require no memorization are easy for
newbies)
MYSTERY'S ESP (Mystery)
Walk up to a girl and say, "Do you believe in ESP?" Remember to SMILE
or you may startle her. "Just think of the first # that pops into your
head from one to four. Don't say it. Just think it ... now take that #
and imagine that it is drawn on a blackboard in your head. Have you
done that?"
She says OK
"What's so neat about imagination is ... we both have it ... On the blackboard, I see the number ... three."
Whether you get it right or not reply.
"Alright, lets try this one more time. This time think of a different #
from one to 10. Got it? Picture it in white chalk on the blackboard ...
you are thinking of the number ... 7."
If you got the first wrong and the second right, you look like you
finally got it ... a 1 in 10 chance. If you get BOTH right (a 90%
chance seeing as it is a psychological trick where most north Americans
naturally choose 3 and 7 as their first picks) that's a 1 in 40 chance
... "and of course I don't stake my reputation on mere chance."
If you get the first right but the second wrong or both wrong, say...
"PROOF! ESP does NOT exist!" Then start to laugh like this "Mooa ha ha
ha ha ha ha! And you believe in ESP!" a good neg hit to start. If she
mentions that most people pick 3 and 7 (most girls wont know this
though) just say, "really? Hmm. didn't know that ... thank you Cliff
Claven." (From Cheers)
If you take the wording I have and do this EXACTLY as stated, you will
be surprised HOW well you will do. When they ask HOW, tell them ... I
DON'T KNOW. Tell her you can SEE the #s on your imaginary blackboard.
This is NOT a trick. You hate magicians. If she wants you to do this
again, tell her ... "don't be greedy now."
Speaking of greedy ... if a girl kisses you on the cheek and goes to
kiss your other cheek, tell her, "Only one ... don't be greedy." This
is a good NEG HIT. Mild but a neg hit nonetheless. If she says, "Yes,
but I'm French", you reply, "Are all French girls as greedy as you?"
G-STRING (Badboy)
"Hey guys, you won't believe what's going on with a friend of mine and
his girlfriend. They've been dating each other for six months now, and
my friend really loves her. But they had this big fight a few weeks
ago, and she went to visit her mother to cool down.
While she was gone, my friend was so depressed, that he ended up hooking up with some random girl he met in a club.
Anyway, a few days later, his girlfriend comes back, and she finds this
girl's thong panties in the bathroom, and she KNOWS this thong isn't
hers.
So she confronts my friend on this, and he lies and says that the
panties are his! And that he likes to dress up in women's underwear. So
I don't know if his girlfriend knew he was lying and just wanted to
punish him, or if she really is into this or not, but she said she
thinks that's really kinky and wants him to wear women's underwear
around the house.
So he's been doing this for a few weeks now and is absolutely.
MISERABLE!"
"So I think he should just come clean and let his girlfriend know what happened.
What do you guys think? How important is trust in a relationship?
Or do you think some things should remain hidden, even if it means being miserable?"
FEMALE ROOMMATES (Tenmagnet and TylerDurden)
I've been offered this *SWEET* place in (x place).. I want to live
there, *BUT*..... I have to live with FOUR girls. Like *FOUR*. I'm
going to get 4 times the boyfriend complaints; I'll never get in the
fucking bathroom... I'm gonna have to start showering at the truck
stop, and you KNOW they're gonna synchronize. (Smile knowingly) Heck,
I'll probably start *MY* period. I'm going to have to leave the house
for 5 days a month!
Did you know that's why primitive civilizations developed camping? All
the women in the tribe would synchronize and the guys would look up at
the moon and be like "The antelope are moving now, we must HUNT".
Also... living with all those girls, I could get RAPED. Did you know
that 95% of guys that get date raped commit suicide in 6 months? Girls
are such sexual predators... (sexual predator routine stuff below)."
GLASSES ON OR OFF (Twentysix)
Approach Girls
26 - Glasses off (take glasses off)
26 - Glasses on (put glasses on)
26 - What do you guys think looks better?
*HBs - (Responses: On!/Off!/What?/Laughing)
26 - Glasses off (take off glasses)
26 - Glasses on (put on glasses) (I did the sequence any where from 2 to 4 times)
HB1 - I like them on!
HB2 - I like them off! (If HBs disagree then they usually started
laughing.I guess they think it's funny that they have different
opinions).
26 - My friends tell me I look like Clark Kent when I have the glasses on!
HBs - (Responses: Yeah you do! / No).
26 - Why do you like it when my glasses are on/off?
HB1 - (When likes glasses on) I think it makes you look sexy/it makes you look clever.
HB2 - (When likes glasses off) I think you look better with them off, but I like them on too!
You get the idea.it opens the group.
Here's another way I introduced the opener:
Approach Girls
26 - I need your opinion. Do I look better with my glasses off (take
glasses off) or with my glasses on (put glasses on). (I put like a
fun/playful face on).
*Run with the rest of the opener above.
Trouble Shooting
If a girl asks you to put them on and off too many times I would do one of the following:
- I'd put them on and off again, but act goofy (make faces.whatever)
- Oh my god. Again? (Playful). Then I'd do it again (don't know if this is a good idea, what do you guys think?)
- Say to the girl who didn't ask: Wow. Is she always like this? Takes a long time to make decisions?
I'M LOST (TylerDurden)
I'm lost... I can't find my friends and I'm scared... Remember when we
were kids and you could just make new friends whenever you wanted...
and you said 'want to be my friend?' Do you guys want to by my NEW
friend?"
INTRODUCTION OPENER (ijjjji)
PUA: (grab unsuspecting SHB by the arm and point at a random dude)
"OMG, that guy is PERFECT for you - let me introduce you!!" (start
moving towards the guy)
SHB: What?! No.. NONONO.. haha.. Help!
PUA: (to guy) This girl is so shy, but she really wanted to meet you!
SHB: (Giggeling hysterically) Nonono... its not true!(Fleeing)
PUA: Awww come on.. don't be shy..
Both girls were very hot and totally stuck up before I did this. Both
of them came back and talked to me several times during the evening, to
tell me how crazy I was...
MR. BIG (Dr. Paul)
Hey guys, do you watch the show Sex and the City?? I was just talking
to those girls over there and they told me I remind them of "Mr. Big"
is that good or bad?
(ooooohhh we LOVE Mr Big!!)
MY LITTLE PONY (jlaix)
Hey, guys... remember that shit 'My Little Pony'? Well, I was thinkin
about this today, and I can't remember... did they have powers or were
they just regular fuckin' horses? Like, I remember they could fly, but
I thought they also had little symbols on the hip or something that
gave them powers, but they were like, lame-ass powers like Sharing and
Honor or some shit. or maybe that was Care Bears. My little sister used
to have them and I'd play GI Joes with them, like, GI Joe would fly
into battle on My Little Pony, then blast Cobra with a fuckin machine
gun blah blah blah...
NEVER BE COUPLE (ijjjji, TD)
"Aww - you are soo cute.. but you make me SO SAD! (HB:WHY?) (pause with puppy
dog face) Cos we could NEVER EVER be a couple! (HB:WHYYY???) Nooo.. we
are too similar.. IMAGINE, we would be SO IN LOVE.. and the next
moment, we would be
fighting and screaming and throwing things.. and then we would have HOT MAKE UP
SEX all over the place.. and then fight, makeup sex, fight, make up sex.. after
a week we would both be in psychiatric care due to emotional drainage!"
PICKING UP CHICKS (sledge)
Just open with "Hi, we're picking up chicks". its C&F
PIMP NAMES (jlaix)
guys guys... I'm coming up with a pimp name for myself, which is better: "d-licious dogg"? or "deacon dr. rockafella"?
oh cool... shit, you need one too... I'll call you "devious honey g sweetness"...
PLANT AND STARE (TylerDurden)
Walk up to girls and just stop, like plant yourself in front of them. I
give them kind of a boyish playful smiling face like I'm about to do
something cocky or maybe I though of something funny I'm about to say,
and they start giggling. (key is to stop abruptly and make the fun face
so they giggle)
PRIMP OPENER (Harmless)
First, here is the frame you're using for this opener:
"You're CUTE... but I'm going to make you a ROCKSTAR!"
This is, in fact, the exact wording I used to open Schematic's HB9 on
Saturday night. I opened her and I let him take over and #close her.
(He should have gotten more. Bad schematic. Oh well, I'll call her
later. Maybe)
You don't even need to say anything to open, so this works in the loudest clubs.
You walk up, of course making sure to keep your BL under control.
(Shoulders away, etc.) You check her out then make a face like you
aren't happy with what you see. Then you hold your hands out like
you're judging her style. You move in SLOWLY, pick some article of
clothing (hat, shirt, etc. Best if it's upper body or head) and PRIMP
it. Take her hat and TWIST it ever so slightly. Now, back away, lean
back, look her over, and give her a thumbs up.
"NOW you're a SUPERSTAR!"
Continue with push/pull if you wish... "But wait..." and twist the hat
back the other way. If she touches her hat, bust her for messing it up.
Tell her she's allowed to be seen with you now, and promenade her around the club.
RICH OPENER (Herbal, TD)
Came up with this one the other night at a club. When opening a set,
walk up and ask, "Which one of you is the richest?". Then go into the
whole "Ok, you get to be my sugar mama, then. But hmm.... we need
someone to cook for us, who is the best cook?" routine.
Pretty fun and opens easily. To give credit where credit is due, it's
just a variation on "Are you rich?", which I think TD came up with.
RICKI LAKE (Mystery Method)
This one is used to wing your buddy, especially if he's in a two-set
and the obstacle needs to be kept occupied. "Hey, my friend here just
got invited to be on the Ricki Lake show. But the theme of the show is
Secret Admirers. They told him he's got an admirer, but he won't find
out whom until he's live on the set. So maybe it'll be someone cute,
but maybe not; it might even be a guy. What would you do if you were
him?"
SEATTLE GF (TylerDurden)
"Hey guys, I need an opinion. My friend met this girl in Seattle, and
they really hit it off. They wound up hooking up on the first night,
and he even hung out with her in L.A. over the next week. So he's up
visiting her in Seattle last week, and they're out on a walk. He takes
a few pictures of them together. Like really cute ones with them
together. Some of them they're just hanging out, and a few of them
they're like kissing or whatever while they're out walking.
Anyway, the next morning he wakes up, and checks his camera. He looks
at the pictures, and he sees that she's woken up before him and gone
into it and deleted the pictures where they're kissing, and left the
ones where they're just hanging out. He goes to her and says 'Are you
psycho? Why are you going into my camera?' She says its because she
thought she looked bad in the pictures, and didn't want him to have
them. But he can't figure out if she's psycho or if its legit that for
girls they just hate having pictures out there where she doesn't look
good. He just really liked them because he likes her and doesn't judge
the pics like that."
The girls will either say:
"It's totally natural. I hate it when pictures make me look bad,
especially with a digital camera where you can just delete them and
take more." (They also sometimes say "But he's only known her a few
months. I wouldn't do that on a guy I just met.")
-or-
"She has a boyfriend!"
Your immediate reply would be "He doesn't care about that. He's busy. He just doesn't want her deleting his pics! "
SEXY MONKEY (Tenmagnet)
Do you think Curious George is a sexy monkey? 'Cuz my little cousin was
watching Curious George on TV yesterday, he's two and a half and he
pointed at the screen and said "Sexy Monkey". Like WTF?!? I didn't
teach him that... NO REALLY I DIDN'T
He's been hanging around with that Michael Jackson guy again.
SIMPSONS OPENER (Gunwitch)
Hey do you ever watch The Simpsons? Why has Marge never left Homer, I mean
she's a sexy bitch and he's a deadbeat who fucks up all the time.
At this point you can just go on and talk about The Simpsons for a while.
SINCERE COMPLIMENT (Papa)
Papa: Hey...are you someone confident to accept a sincere compliment?!!!
Hot Aussie Chick: Hee...hee. Sure.
Papa: Cooool. Me too!! Hey, you go first. [pointing back to me] Fire away.
Hot Aussie Chick: Haha + {compliment on Papa's clothes or sense of humor} or Haha + {cummon face}
Papa: [if not complimented] Just kidding...[if complimented, skip the
just kidding] Actually, I came over here cuz you looked like
[compliment +mini cold read].
Here's an example of one of dozens of approaches (even stopping mobile
targets with the boomerang effect body language, credit Tyler D).
Papa: Hey...are you someone confident to accept a sincere compliment?
Hot Aussie Chick: Sure. [smile]
Papa: Me too. Fire away.
Hot Aussie Chick: Haha. Well, I like your jacket.
Papa: Ahh. You Aussie chicks rock. You know, I just had to stop you cuz
you looked like someone interesting to talk to as you look so chill and
calm, and someone just had to come over and enjoy the view of the pier
and opera house with you. I'm Papa.
Hot Aussie Chick: Hi. [handshake] I'm [Chick's Name]
This kind of direct approach opened consistently and the game played
out well because I'd continue from there with lots of ball-busting,
playful kino, and conveyed a lot of fun.
Most of the time, I didn't get compliments from the girls, but I'd get something like this rolling:
Papa: [credit RJ, Style, and Playboy to helping to create this opener]
Excuse me...are you someone confident enough to accept a compliment
from a complete stranger.
SLEEP WITH JESUS (Pnutt)
This may sound like a weird question, but would you sleep with Jesus?
Like ok. It's the year of 25 and your sitting at a bar in Jerusalem and
this dude Jesus walks over and he sits down next to you. He orders you
a water and turns it into wine. Would you have sex with him?
(blah, blah, blah)
"if there's one guy to have a one night stand with, its Jesus!"
if its a mixed set, you use it on the guy:
"if there's one guy to be gay with, its Jesus!"
SPELLS OPENER (Mystery Method)
"Do you think spells work?" Sometimes this will send the woman off on a
long blab, but if the conversation needs to be kept going, the
follow-up routine is:
"The reason I'm asking is because my friend over there met a girl in a
club last week. He wasn't interested in her sexually, because she
wasn't really his type." (Here the woman might say "Sure," in which
case you reply "No, really!" and touch her arm or waist.) "Anyway, she
hung out at his house and after she left, he found a metal ring wrapped
around a scroll and some feathers under his couch. Well, he took it to
a magick store and they said it was an attraction spell. And now, the
strange thing is, he can't stop thinking of her. Do you think it's the
spell or just psychological?"
TEXT MESSAGE BREAK-UP (LXSarging)
Is it OK to breakup with someone with a text message?
(Then make up a good back-story for this)
THUG LOVIN' (jlaix)
Hey guys, I need an opinion quick. Which is superior... which do the ladies prefer
more...THUG LOVIN'? or...GANGSTA LOVIN'? Well, my girlfriend from work said
gangsta because its more hard-core whereas thug lovin' is more like a
hobby. But my other gf said gangsta would be disrespectful, like they'd
pistol whip you and run a train on your ass, whereas thug lovin', the
dude is hard, but when it comes to the ladies, he's smooth and
sensitive... blah blah blah..."
TWIN BROTHERS (Ross Jefferies)
You're at a party or a club and you meet twin brothers; they are absoutely identical, physically.
ONE of them has the best hands of any guy you've ever met. The other is an incredible dancer. Which one do you pick?
Same scenario. Again, the two guys are identical. One makes you laugh
more than anyone you've ever met. The other is the most incredible
kisser you could ever in a lifetime encounter. Which one do you pick?
Same scenario: One guy has more money than Bill Gates. The other makes
you feel like you are the most beautiful, desirable woman who ever
walked the face of the planet. Which do you pick?
(It'd probably be best to make up some sort of back-story for this)
WEBBED FEET (Nilatak)
"Hey guys... would you date a guy with webbed feet??"
"I had a summer job at Y Supermarket and there was this guy I used to
work with that had webbed feet. He would always complain that he
couln't get a girlfriend. He needed to stuff his shoes with cotton so
they would fill up and he would always walk on the tips of his feet.
People used to call him 'Twinkle Toes'!"
They usually ask if it's me or my wing and I just bust out with "Nawwww...I'm DINKY PENIS!"
WHEEL CHAIR (Ace/Papa)
Would you date a guy in a wheel chair?
(blah blah blah) if she says no say What if it was a really cool wheel chair?
"What if it was a really old wheel chair with a squeaky wheel?"
"You know with bits falling off it. If it was rusty would it come between you both?"
If she says yes set it up for who lies more.or
"What if the guy was suddenly cured by *Jesus*...would you lose interest?"
WHO LIES MORE (Chris Rock version)
Hey guys, I need a female opinion. who lies more Guys or
Girls??.......... The way I see it girls the tell the small lies like
"you're ass doesn't look fat in those pants" but girls. they tell the
big ones... like... "Its your baby!"
Masturbating In The Shower
YOU: “Did you know that 93% of girls masturbate in the shower?”
HER: “No”
YOU: “It’s true- the other 7% sing”
HER: “Oh really?”
YOU: “Do you know what they sing?”
HER: “No, what?”
YOU: “Oh, you must be one of the 93% of girls that masturbates then”
HER: (Laughs)
Dog or Cat by XFMAN
XF: Hey guys let me get your opinion real fast ... What do you prefer cat or dog ?
HB: Dog
XF: No way , Dog's sucks Wink (NEG) I'm joking I have 5 Laughing
... wait, See the problem is that my little sister/cousin birthday is
in one week , she is going to turn 9 years old and I don't know what to
buy a cat or a dog , she love both cats and dogs, and the other day at
the pet shop... blah blah ( DHV story move to A2 )
Or some variations I have made of my own opener are :
What you prefer for a gift a Cd or Dvd ...
Which movie you think is better: How too loose a guy in 10 days or the notebook , the thing here is that my sister...
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PRIMP OPENER (Harmless) First, here is the frame you're using for this opener:
"You're CUTE... but I'm going to make you a ROCKSTAR!"
You don't even need to say anything to open, so this works in the loudest clubs.
You walk up, of course making sure to keep your BL under control. (Shoulders away, etc.) You check her out then make a face like
you aren't happy with what you see. Then you hold your hands out like you're judging her style. You move in SLOWLY, pick some
article of clothing (hat, shirt, etc. Best if it's upper body or
head) and PRIMP it. Take her hat and TWIST it ever so slightly. Now,
back
away, lean back, look her over, and give her a thumbs up.
"NOW you're a SUPERSTAR!"
Continue with push/ pull if you wish... " But wait..." and twist
the hat back the other way. If she touches her hat, bust her for
messing it
up.
Tell her she's allowed to be seen with you now, and promenade her around the club.
Self Empowering Class Opener (credit justincedible!)
opener:
Real quick, you guys think its a good idea to take self empowering classes?
HB:
Y/ no / whatever response
me
"I got a buddy that just ended a X year long relationship. And was
thinking about taking a class. But I'm telling him to just go out meet
people and socialize, w/o any pressure of anything else. To just go out
and have a good conversation.
But my roomate SHE thinks that guys meeting girls out in public is
hard and next to impossible. She also thinks that classes for
empowerment are ironicly lame. Then again she really had no problems
attracting people with her job....
HB:
What did she do?
me
Shes ...get this...brace yourself...an exotic dancer double
majoring Business and Psychology. She dances to put herself thru school
but I dont know what to make of it. It is her life, Im just glad shes
still in school.
Bet youre in school arent you?
