Female brain
DISCOVER HER PERSONALITY TYPE AND MAKE SURE TO KNOW ABOUT HER A LOT MORE THAN SHE WILL EVER KNOW ABOUT YOU:
E Extraverion
People who prefer Extraversion tend to focus on the outer world of people and things.
or
I Introverion
People who prefer Introversion tend to focus on the inner world of ideas and impressions.
S Sensing
People who prefer Sensing tend to focus on the present and the concrete information gained from their senses.
or
N iNtuition
People who prefer Intuition tend to focus on the future, with a view toward patterns and possibilities.
T Thinking
People who prefer Thinking tend to base their decisions on logic and objective analysis of cause and effect.
or
F Feeling
People who prefer Feeling tend to base their decisions primarily on values and on subjective evaluation of person-centered concerns.
J Judgement
People who prefer Judgment tend to like a planned and organized approach to life and prefer to have things settled. They are more scheduling with thier activities. J types prefer "the destination" over "the journey".
or
P Perception
People who prefer Perception tend to flexible and spontaneous approach to life and things settled. They are less scheduling with their activities and prefer to keep their options open. They are more probing with their activities. "P" types prefer "the journey" over "the destination".
Hope this helps you understand people
I thought this was "The greatest idea since sliced bread". I'm not kidding, I literally carried around a notebook and asked people about the test. About a week past and I realized something. Men and women think very differently, so to subject them to the same test would not only be stupid and wrong, but carrying around this notebook was not going to help me with what I wanted. What i wanted was to be able to understand people's personallity type and use that to learn and comprehend what they were thinking, and how they went about thinking.
What I found was that men were easy to understand, you ask a question and they... we answer "logically" and "truthfully". Women seem to be a bit weirded out when you're acting like interviewer and are asking them 79 questions that are completely random. The system is also faulty, there are literally 5 questions on this test which change for the average person 3 times a day. It only takes one question marked a different way to give a seperate personallity type.
Would you try to gain respect from your parents the same way you would from your girlfriend? Of CoURSE not! So you wouldn't do the same thing around an istp, an inward experiencer, as you would an enfj, who is an outward idealist. My idea is much more accurate, and honestly will make it easy for you to read his/her personallity, but not only will it be more effective, accurate, less creepy, and less slow, it's also automatic. No joke, as soon as you realize the method you will be meeting someone and the method will go through your head and pick up on offhand comments and interests faster than a google search for porn.
This is more accurate for women than men by the way. With this simple method you will learn how to read people and understand why they do what they do, even to the point you can predict the future (I make money simply betting my friends a dollar that so and so will break up/not make it because I know their personas don't mix, and so I have a steady income of 8 dollars a month lol). This leads to confidence in yourself by the way. And hey, if you know what makes a person tick, why can't you place yourself at the head of her world?
Some personallity's need a challenge, be one, while others are secretly mourning, be there for her, because unless you can pick up on what she's telling you without her saying it you won't know. Have you ever had that friend you know must feel a little agitated because you spend so much time around them, but you can't help it, you're drawn to them for some reason, and you don't even know what it is? Imagine being able to make any woman feel the same way for you.
Imagine it.
PERSUASION
bet many of you have tried to
trick someone to comprehending with you. It's not an easy task since trust
isn't given but earned. In this guide you will find some tips to ease you.
PREPARATION
Plan: Before you start a conversation with your slave you should think of how to approach him. You can have either one of the following stances:
Offensive stance: If you have a lot of knowledge on the subject and good opinions to back it up you should keep this stance. Intimidate the listener, interrupt him every now and then and prove that you have more knowledge than he does.
Example: You are nuclear physician and you know a lot about atoms and physics. Someone is telling you something wrong about fusion, and you know that he is wrong! You are attacking him with facts and knowledge, his chances are zero.
Defensive stance: Listen to what the slave has to say, let him finish and give hime the idea that he's winning the argument. Then, pose a question to him/her that will get him to doubt himself. However, don't get carried away cause if he speaks too much, HE/SHE will keep an offensive stance and you're generally screwed.
Example: You know less than somebody, but he doesn't believe in himself. You just say when he finishes, and then find something that will make him doubt at himself. If nothing happens, at least you got time and made him unsure of himself.
Ironic stance: If you answer ironically to the slave's ideas and thoughts he/will get angry and lose it, which means he/she will start making a fool of himself/herself. Then he/she will get worried and almost everything he/she says won't make sense. There's your chance for counter attack. Just try not to look like an idiot.
Example: You are arrogant, ironic, behaving suspiciously to everything, always saying something like "O,yeah..." and similar stuff.You are simply "higher than your opponent". If someone is telling you for example that you are stupid, and you have your IQ test with yourself, this is great chance for this kind of behaviour.
Co-operative stance: This depends on the listener you're dealing with. When arguing, you can try agreeing with his ideas and giving him/her the wrong idea that he/she is winning. You can even try praising him/her for his beliefs. After that, the listener will be flattered, thus, vulnerable. That's when you strike. However, this way is very difficult and complex so it's not recommended for people who aren't really into Social Engineering.
Example: You know that he is wrong, but you confirm everything he says, giving compliments and so on... Like a thunder, you change your stance with your heavy facts that he will never be able to break. You gave him fake belief that he is winning.
Note: It is always better if you know a lot more than your opponent.
OBSTACLES YOU MIGHT COME ACROSS
Belief Conflict: First of all there will be a conflict between you and your listener's beliefs. It's not easy to persuade a Muslim that Allah is not real and that God is our only divide power (though even I don't believe this). So, trying to change somebody's mind on subjects he has built his life on is not recommended.
Example: any religious question - my example is that many of them tried to fool me cause I believe in reincarnation, and live inSerbia
Knowledge: Before you try starting a conversation with the listener you must take his knowledge about the subject into consideration. If you're trying to argue with a NASA scientist about Earth's orbit or comets' speed you're obviously about to fail (and look like an idiot). Try to use topics in which you have a particular knowledge so you can overwin the listener and finally convince him.
Example: Someone is arguing with you about your specialized area( mine is sports training) and he is an actor, who never trained anything in his life. His chances are very, very small.
Skeptics: That's definitely the worst case scenario. Skeptics are people who doubt almost everything you want to tell them. If your listener is one of them then your chances of convincing him will be minimum. So, if you're not experienced enough you'de better avoid making a conversation with him cause it will end up with you wasting your time.
Example: You are saying that the Earth turns round the Sun. Everybody knows that you are right, but he simply never heard of that. And he is very suspicious. Provide him strong evidences, or no chance to success.
WAYS TO OVERCOME THE OBSTACLES - COUNTER TECHNIQUES
Shaking His Existing Belief: If the listener doesn't have much knowledge on the subject you can shake his/her existing belief and substitute your own. You can accomplish that by using countering facts and holding a co-operative stance against him/her.
Undermine His Knowledge Base: When the listener has a certain knowledge about the subject he/she uses it as a shield to defend himdself by any possible "belief threats". To bring this shield down you have to do something very simple. Convince him that you know more than him. By using false, but believable facts you will make the listener doubt his own, even if he's doing that subconciously. When you get to that point, forget about passing on your idea and try to make sure that your listener is convinced that you know more than he/she does. The rest is easy and up to you.
Program His Subconscious Mind: You can achieve this by reapeating again and again your idea. This method is a part of the mind-programming skill.
Example: You are telling someone, during the argument, if he is saying for example that bunnies are ougly, you will say that bunnies are cute. Normally talk to him, and after every 3-5 minutes tell that bunnies are cute, but make sure to sound normally and as much relaxed as you can. His subconscious will SURELY register this, but that doesn't have to mean that he will change his opinion.
Provide Proof for the Skeptic: There isn't much to do in this situation than providing legitimate proof to the skeptic. If you can't do that then there isn't anything else to do, you believe your own ideas, he/she does the same and life goes on.
Believing in Your Idea: Apart from manipulating the listener there is one thing you must apply to yourself. Believe in your ideas. If you're trying to pass an idea that even you don't believe in it then I can guarantee you will fail. When you have faith on what you're talking about the whole process will be easier for you.
Repetition and the Law of Attraction: There have been several experiments on that via TV over the last few years. Particularly, there was a banned comercial of the Coca-Cola company which only showed the logo of the product for 1 second. That's it. However, every person who watched this commercial wanted to buy a coca-cola. That happened because subconciously, the mind kept telling the individual that he needed the product. That's exactly what you're going to do. Every now and then, you're gonna talk to the listener about your idea for just a few seconds or minutes. Thus, he is going to think your subject for the rest of the day. Even if he doesn't want to.
Example: You are talking to the girl, and she is saying that she knows that she is not cute. On every minute or two, you will tell her that she is, but not directly every time. Her subconscious will register this for sure if you repeat enough times. Just be warn, if she registers you as a boring person, you won't have chances.
PREPARATION
Plan: Before you start a conversation with your slave you should think of how to approach him. You can have either one of the following stances:
Offensive stance: If you have a lot of knowledge on the subject and good opinions to back it up you should keep this stance. Intimidate the listener, interrupt him every now and then and prove that you have more knowledge than he does.
Example: You are nuclear physician and you know a lot about atoms and physics. Someone is telling you something wrong about fusion, and you know that he is wrong! You are attacking him with facts and knowledge, his chances are zero.
Defensive stance: Listen to what the slave has to say, let him finish and give hime the idea that he's winning the argument. Then, pose a question to him/her that will get him to doubt himself. However, don't get carried away cause if he speaks too much, HE/SHE will keep an offensive stance and you're generally screwed.
Example: You know less than somebody, but he doesn't believe in himself. You just say when he finishes, and then find something that will make him doubt at himself. If nothing happens, at least you got time and made him unsure of himself.
Ironic stance: If you answer ironically to the slave's ideas and thoughts he/will get angry and lose it, which means he/she will start making a fool of himself/herself. Then he/she will get worried and almost everything he/she says won't make sense. There's your chance for counter attack. Just try not to look like an idiot.
Example: You are arrogant, ironic, behaving suspiciously to everything, always saying something like "O,yeah..." and similar stuff.You are simply "higher than your opponent". If someone is telling you for example that you are stupid, and you have your IQ test with yourself, this is great chance for this kind of behaviour.
Co-operative stance: This depends on the listener you're dealing with. When arguing, you can try agreeing with his ideas and giving him/her the wrong idea that he/she is winning. You can even try praising him/her for his beliefs. After that, the listener will be flattered, thus, vulnerable. That's when you strike. However, this way is very difficult and complex so it's not recommended for people who aren't really into Social Engineering.
Example: You know that he is wrong, but you confirm everything he says, giving compliments and so on... Like a thunder, you change your stance with your heavy facts that he will never be able to break. You gave him fake belief that he is winning.
Note: It is always better if you know a lot more than your opponent.
OBSTACLES YOU MIGHT COME ACROSS
Belief Conflict: First of all there will be a conflict between you and your listener's beliefs. It's not easy to persuade a Muslim that Allah is not real and that God is our only divide power (though even I don't believe this). So, trying to change somebody's mind on subjects he has built his life on is not recommended.
Example: any religious question - my example is that many of them tried to fool me cause I believe in reincarnation, and live in
Knowledge: Before you try starting a conversation with the listener you must take his knowledge about the subject into consideration. If you're trying to argue with a NASA scientist about Earth's orbit or comets' speed you're obviously about to fail (and look like an idiot). Try to use topics in which you have a particular knowledge so you can overwin the listener and finally convince him.
Example: Someone is arguing with you about your specialized area( mine is sports training) and he is an actor, who never trained anything in his life. His chances are very, very small.
Skeptics: That's definitely the worst case scenario. Skeptics are people who doubt almost everything you want to tell them. If your listener is one of them then your chances of convincing him will be minimum. So, if you're not experienced enough you'de better avoid making a conversation with him cause it will end up with you wasting your time.
Example: You are saying that the Earth turns round the Sun. Everybody knows that you are right, but he simply never heard of that. And he is very suspicious. Provide him strong evidences, or no chance to success.
WAYS TO OVERCOME THE OBSTACLES - COUNTER TECHNIQUES
Shaking His Existing Belief: If the listener doesn't have much knowledge on the subject you can shake his/her existing belief and substitute your own. You can accomplish that by using countering facts and holding a co-operative stance against him/her.
Undermine His Knowledge Base: When the listener has a certain knowledge about the subject he/she uses it as a shield to defend himdself by any possible "belief threats". To bring this shield down you have to do something very simple. Convince him that you know more than him. By using false, but believable facts you will make the listener doubt his own, even if he's doing that subconciously. When you get to that point, forget about passing on your idea and try to make sure that your listener is convinced that you know more than he/she does. The rest is easy and up to you.
Program His Subconscious Mind: You can achieve this by reapeating again and again your idea. This method is a part of the mind-programming skill.
Example: You are telling someone, during the argument, if he is saying for example that bunnies are ougly, you will say that bunnies are cute. Normally talk to him, and after every 3-5 minutes tell that bunnies are cute, but make sure to sound normally and as much relaxed as you can. His subconscious will SURELY register this, but that doesn't have to mean that he will change his opinion.
Provide Proof for the Skeptic: There isn't much to do in this situation than providing legitimate proof to the skeptic. If you can't do that then there isn't anything else to do, you believe your own ideas, he/she does the same and life goes on.
Believing in Your Idea: Apart from manipulating the listener there is one thing you must apply to yourself. Believe in your ideas. If you're trying to pass an idea that even you don't believe in it then I can guarantee you will fail. When you have faith on what you're talking about the whole process will be easier for you.
Repetition and the Law of Attraction: There have been several experiments on that via TV over the last few years. Particularly, there was a banned comercial of the Coca-Cola company which only showed the logo of the product for 1 second. That's it. However, every person who watched this commercial wanted to buy a coca-cola. That happened because subconciously, the mind kept telling the individual that he needed the product. That's exactly what you're going to do. Every now and then, you're gonna talk to the listener about your idea for just a few seconds or minutes. Thus, he is going to think your subject for the rest of the day. Even if he doesn't want to.
Example: You are talking to the girl, and she is saying that she knows that she is not cute. On every minute or two, you will tell her that she is, but not directly every time. Her subconscious will register this for sure if you repeat enough times. Just be warn, if she registers you as a boring person, you won't have chances.
Social conversations, charisma and
reading people tips
Introduction
Social conversation and appearing is one of the most vital aspects in social engineering and every day interaction. Charisma is strength, and while charisma is largely natural, it is possible to do certain things to appear more charismatic.
Shortly said, this post is about making yourself appear more appealing and reading others.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Basic Understanding of how someone thinks
Visual thinkers: These kinds of people think by visualizing things. They commonly describe things in the following way:
“Do you see what I mean?”
“The way I look at things.”
Auditory thinkers: These kinds of people think by hearing. They commonly describe things in the following way:
“Do you hear what I mean?”
“The way it sounds to me is.”
Kinesthetic thinkers: These kinds of people describe things by how they feel. They commonly describe things in the following way:
“Do you feel the same as I about that?”
“The way I feel about this is”
Not everyone is confined to a single way of thinking. People may express themselves differently depending on the subject. When it is a more emotionally taxing thing they talk about, they are more likely to enter the kinesthetic mode of thinking. When listening to music, they adopt auditory thinking.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Confidence: Confidence is very important, but it is not just something you learn from one day to the next. So do not focus as much on increasing your confidence, but rather on the things that will make you a more socially appealing person, and with the different reactions people will show towards you, your confidence will grow substantially. Now, to the things that will make you more appealing, on a social level. It is mostly about reading body language though.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eye Reading
Pupils: The pupils of a person dilate when they are interested in something. Keep this in mind when choosing the topic of conversation.
Eye Contact: Eye contact is necessary, but must not be persistent. If you stare into someone’s eyes for too long, they may feel intimidated and uncomfortable.
Regular eye contact is most common in Western culture, so keep that in mind. Certain kinds of people may prefer for you to not look into their eyes. I will give some examples of such cultures below.
The Islamic people try not to focus on eyes or the faces of people.
InEast Asia , eye contact is also avoided. The
Japanese people for example feel uncomfortable with lengthy eye contact.
Persistent eye contact can be avoided by letting your eyes travel, to the left and right, or down. Depending on the situation, it may be unadvisable to look down when speaking to women, especially when they wear revealing shirts. It may be interpreted as looking at their breasts.
Mood and eyes: It's possible to see hints of a persons mood in their eyes in combination with their forehead and eyelids. A good mood, assuming you do not have wrinkled skin, has an uncreased brow. When sad, your eyes seem more distant, and you are more prone to stare into the distance, with your eyelids at a lower position than usual.
Lying and Eye Contact: Staring into someone’s eyes persistently can be interpreted as a sign of lying, so can looking away quickly. This may not always be the case, that when someone looks away they are lying. It is a combination of various factors, having to do with exhaustion, awkwardness, and many other things.
Direction into which the person looks:
Looking to the left: The person is thinking of the past or trying to remember something.
Looking to the right: The person is thinking of something to say. This may also hint towards a lie, because it is more related to creating something that recalling a memory from the past.
Up and left: Recalling a memory.
Up and right: Creating an answer.
For some people, this may be reversed. You can figure this out by asking questions like “How do you feel about the president?” Regularly, the person would look up and right or right, but if they look left or up and left, then their eye movement is reversed.
Modes of thinking and eye position
Visual thinking: Eyes move upwards to either side. They may also look straight ahead, unfocused.
Auditory thinking: They will look sideways.
Kinesthetic thinking: Eyes will move down and to either side.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Posture: Don't bend your back or have your shoulders hanging down like, for the lack of a better word, a whipped dog. Sit straight, but not too straight. You can also lead back in your chair, if you are sitting. Don't spread your legs open wide.
Don't fold your arms. That can be somewhat off-putting.
Try not to place an elbow on a table and rest your cheek on that fist. That is often a sign of boredom.
Some things to do with your arms that show that you are a bit more relaxed. (If you can, try to act as if you are relaxed, even if you are not.):
Having your fingers interlocked behind your hands and elbows pointing out to the side. It gives full view of your body, it can make it seem as if you are an open person.
One arm resting in your lab or on the arm rest of a chair and the other on the table.
Both arms on the table, but that will only really work if you are not sitting fully erect, because then you'll seem nervous.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Smile: How often you should smile depends entirely on how you smile. A smile may seem arrogant, or farce, and if that is the case, it is best not to smile too often because people may consider it offensive. Regardless, smiles are important. A person that smiles is just so much more appealing.
Speaking: You'll have the greatest advantage in conversation if you know what the other person is interested in. Then, mix the conversation up about your own topics and their interests.
You can learn about anothers persons interest by seeing what they read, listening to what they speak to about others, and in plenty of other ways.
Initiating Conversation: The way you greet people is also important. Keep the things I mentioned above in mind. Posture, eye contact, and all that.
Now then, about initiating a conversation. There are a lot of greetings you can use, but different greetings cause different reactions.
Hey: Commonly, the person will reply with a variation of hey or hello or something along the lines, and either expect you to continue the conversation or continue it themselves. If they reply with "What's up" or a variation thereof, then just reply with what's up with you, but keep it interesting. Something that someone would like to hear, and not personal problems or anything in the like unless you know the person well.
What's up: You can also start a conversation with "What's up" and if they say something about what is currently happening to them, or how their day is going, go off that.
Sometimes a person may not want to talk to you. That can be seen in various signs, such as the tone in which they reply, firm (if they are, by nature, not firm in how they speak), a curled lip, a sigh with their reply which can mean two things, that they either do not want to talk to you, or that you are bothering them, and other signs that are too many to list.
When trying to appear professional for some sorts of scam, of course your introduction will have to be different. That would be quite lengthy to go through, so I will not mention any of that here.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Body Language: Certain things are unappealing when you talk to others. Tapping your foot, fingers, or hands. Constantly looking around. There is using your hands to speak along with your verbal communication, but I don't think I can describe how to go through with that because it probably would not make any sense.
Other: Social interaction also has to do with observing the other person, and adjusting yourself with them. If a person continues talking about a new topic, don't try to go back to the old topic unless it is necessary or you cannot discuss the current topic. A topic can be anything, from how you are feeling, to what is happening around you in schoool, what you saw in TV, in the city. Anything, really.
Social conversation and appearing is one of the most vital aspects in social engineering and every day interaction. Charisma is strength, and while charisma is largely natural, it is possible to do certain things to appear more charismatic.
Shortly said, this post is about making yourself appear more appealing and reading others.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Basic Understanding of how someone thinks
Visual thinkers: These kinds of people think by visualizing things. They commonly describe things in the following way:
“Do you see what I mean?”
“The way I look at things.”
Auditory thinkers: These kinds of people think by hearing. They commonly describe things in the following way:
“Do you hear what I mean?”
“The way it sounds to me is.”
Kinesthetic thinkers: These kinds of people describe things by how they feel. They commonly describe things in the following way:
“Do you feel the same as I about that?”
“The way I feel about this is”
Not everyone is confined to a single way of thinking. People may express themselves differently depending on the subject. When it is a more emotionally taxing thing they talk about, they are more likely to enter the kinesthetic mode of thinking. When listening to music, they adopt auditory thinking.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Confidence: Confidence is very important, but it is not just something you learn from one day to the next. So do not focus as much on increasing your confidence, but rather on the things that will make you a more socially appealing person, and with the different reactions people will show towards you, your confidence will grow substantially. Now, to the things that will make you more appealing, on a social level. It is mostly about reading body language though.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eye Reading
Pupils: The pupils of a person dilate when they are interested in something. Keep this in mind when choosing the topic of conversation.
Eye Contact: Eye contact is necessary, but must not be persistent. If you stare into someone’s eyes for too long, they may feel intimidated and uncomfortable.
Regular eye contact is most common in Western culture, so keep that in mind. Certain kinds of people may prefer for you to not look into their eyes. I will give some examples of such cultures below.
The Islamic people try not to focus on eyes or the faces of people.
In
Persistent eye contact can be avoided by letting your eyes travel, to the left and right, or down. Depending on the situation, it may be unadvisable to look down when speaking to women, especially when they wear revealing shirts. It may be interpreted as looking at their breasts.
Mood and eyes: It's possible to see hints of a persons mood in their eyes in combination with their forehead and eyelids. A good mood, assuming you do not have wrinkled skin, has an uncreased brow. When sad, your eyes seem more distant, and you are more prone to stare into the distance, with your eyelids at a lower position than usual.
Lying and Eye Contact: Staring into someone’s eyes persistently can be interpreted as a sign of lying, so can looking away quickly. This may not always be the case, that when someone looks away they are lying. It is a combination of various factors, having to do with exhaustion, awkwardness, and many other things.
Direction into which the person looks:
Looking to the left: The person is thinking of the past or trying to remember something.
Looking to the right: The person is thinking of something to say. This may also hint towards a lie, because it is more related to creating something that recalling a memory from the past.
Up and left: Recalling a memory.
Up and right: Creating an answer.
For some people, this may be reversed. You can figure this out by asking questions like “How do you feel about the president?” Regularly, the person would look up and right or right, but if they look left or up and left, then their eye movement is reversed.
Modes of thinking and eye position
Visual thinking: Eyes move upwards to either side. They may also look straight ahead, unfocused.
Auditory thinking: They will look sideways.
Kinesthetic thinking: Eyes will move down and to either side.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Posture: Don't bend your back or have your shoulders hanging down like, for the lack of a better word, a whipped dog. Sit straight, but not too straight. You can also lead back in your chair, if you are sitting. Don't spread your legs open wide.
Don't fold your arms. That can be somewhat off-putting.
Try not to place an elbow on a table and rest your cheek on that fist. That is often a sign of boredom.
Some things to do with your arms that show that you are a bit more relaxed. (If you can, try to act as if you are relaxed, even if you are not.):
Having your fingers interlocked behind your hands and elbows pointing out to the side. It gives full view of your body, it can make it seem as if you are an open person.
One arm resting in your lab or on the arm rest of a chair and the other on the table.
Both arms on the table, but that will only really work if you are not sitting fully erect, because then you'll seem nervous.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Smile: How often you should smile depends entirely on how you smile. A smile may seem arrogant, or farce, and if that is the case, it is best not to smile too often because people may consider it offensive. Regardless, smiles are important. A person that smiles is just so much more appealing.
Speaking: You'll have the greatest advantage in conversation if you know what the other person is interested in. Then, mix the conversation up about your own topics and their interests.
You can learn about anothers persons interest by seeing what they read, listening to what they speak to about others, and in plenty of other ways.
Initiating Conversation: The way you greet people is also important. Keep the things I mentioned above in mind. Posture, eye contact, and all that.
Now then, about initiating a conversation. There are a lot of greetings you can use, but different greetings cause different reactions.
Hey: Commonly, the person will reply with a variation of hey or hello or something along the lines, and either expect you to continue the conversation or continue it themselves. If they reply with "What's up" or a variation thereof, then just reply with what's up with you, but keep it interesting. Something that someone would like to hear, and not personal problems or anything in the like unless you know the person well.
What's up: You can also start a conversation with "What's up" and if they say something about what is currently happening to them, or how their day is going, go off that.
Sometimes a person may not want to talk to you. That can be seen in various signs, such as the tone in which they reply, firm (if they are, by nature, not firm in how they speak), a curled lip, a sigh with their reply which can mean two things, that they either do not want to talk to you, or that you are bothering them, and other signs that are too many to list.
When trying to appear professional for some sorts of scam, of course your introduction will have to be different. That would be quite lengthy to go through, so I will not mention any of that here.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Body Language: Certain things are unappealing when you talk to others. Tapping your foot, fingers, or hands. Constantly looking around. There is using your hands to speak along with your verbal communication, but I don't think I can describe how to go through with that because it probably would not make any sense.
Other: Social interaction also has to do with observing the other person, and adjusting yourself with them. If a person continues talking about a new topic, don't try to go back to the old topic unless it is necessary or you cannot discuss the current topic. A topic can be anything, from how you are feeling, to what is happening around you in schoool, what you saw in TV, in the city. Anything, really.
M1- What is Manipulation?/What
you may need.
M2- Gender/Race/Looks (manipulating and manipulated)
M3- Acting the Role
M4- Rewards/Reason to Pursue
M5- Penalties/Risks
M6- Important Things to Keep in Mind.
M7- Protecting Yourself, "Counter-Manipulation"
M8- Personal "Strategies"
More will be added if needed.
M1- What is Manipulation?/What you may need
[muh-nip-yuh-ley-shuhn] ma⋅nip⋅u⋅la⋅tion
–noun
1. the act of manipulating.
2. the state or fact of being manipulated.
3. skillful or artful management.
Although that definition is VERY bland, it states the basics. Skillful or artful management. To sum that up *IMO* that means controlling things in a way thats disguised, careful, and well thought out to the extent of it being the norm.
Manipulation [on humans] is the controlling of some extent of their free will for your own, benefit or prerogative. Although this may be done for other individuals, its still YOUR prerogative. Your the one manipulating, your in control. When you manipulate someone, you, unknowingly to them, take a undetermined piece of their free will, and gradually bend it to what pleases you. This can range from complimenting you for your self esteem, to money, to seats of power. Many government officials use basic forms of manipulation to gain power.
Manipulation in Our World {sub-category}
As said before, the best example of modern day manipulation is shown by the government. During elections and other paths-to-power politicians will basically tell you what you want to hear, as to gain your vote or approval. This sounds awfully basic, childish almost, but they used advanced practices in a basic way to please your ears, your emotions, and your minds.
Not only words can be used for manipulation, 'popular' individuals, like actors and other 'beautiful' people often use how they look to get what they want, simple enough right? Well not only the beautiful get it. All forms of looks, gender, race, hair style, eyes, everything can be used to some advantage. So just because you aren't the sexiest apple in the tree doesn't mean you don't get something too!
"Skills"/"talents"/ Other things you may need.
Manipulation is often a give-and-take type thing. You have to give a little to get a lot in return. Giving can range from treating someone to desert, to lying straight out to their face.
Skills/Talents
These are just things that can help you out when your trying to manipulate, they are not a requirement.
+Acting skills, Acting can help you gain their trust, without giving off any information about yourself. This will be further mentioned in M3.
+Generosity, now some of you may read this and think "Wait what? Aren't we trying to ABUSE them? Why would we be generous?!" Well it's simple, If you were to say, buy them some little silly trinket that they took a liking to, they will think 'oh, he/she is so nice!' That increases their trust in you by however much.
+Lying, Some people may not approve of this one, but if you're good at lying, then you have a higher chance for them to trust you. All you need to do is make sure you don't screw your story up.
Other Things You May Need
+To be caring to an extent. They must THINK you are caring.
+Caution, you must remember, you never fully know who you are manipulating from the start. You may be someone else's target.
+Smarts, You have to think out what they have to say, judge their reactions, and know where to move from there.
+Risk taking, Like said above, you need to judge their reactions, and take some risks to continue.
M2- Gender/Race/Looks
Everything affects manipulation in person, and occasionally online. Gender is a constant in manipulation, certain things tick guys, certain things tick girls. Guys generally like sports, while girls generally like shopping (GENERALLY). You bring either of those up, with detail, and you have an instant connection. Forming the bridge to hold that power. Now then!
Male Vs Female
Effects:
Both genders have special "effects". Girls give off the general loving sense, to care, to be there for you, while men give off the protective stance, the "nothing will hurt you". Knowing this is a serious thing when manipulating someone from the opposite sex. Without them, this would be a LOT more difficult.
Males "abilities":
+The "Protection", Males throughout history have been known as protectors, you can use this towards your advantage.
+The "Charmer", Sweet, loving guys are often "rare", so being able to use this can almost ensure some amount of power.
+Attractiveness, as always.
Females "abilities":
+Emotional support
+"Bad-Ass", every straight-male always hopes to find a girl with the same general interests, whether its sports, music, tv, whatever. If a female can pull that off, a guy will usually bide her every word.
+Attractiveness. THIS is the most useful by the "hot", "sexy", "beautiful", etc females. If your attractive, then you have an advantage. A cheap shot. But an advantage.
Defects:
Both genders have weaknesses as well. These can end up letting breaks in your mental wall. These are just the easy one's. I don't expect anyone to use the more difficult one's yet.
Male Weaknesses:
+Attractive females are one of the bigger weaknesses. Stupid I know, but this can be easily prevented by being cautious.
+"Ego-Boosts", someone who boosts your ego makes you feel useful, usually you will stick with them.
Female Weaknesses:
+Attractive males. Easy enough to understand.
+"Ego-Boosts", same as before.
+Sweet-hearts. A guy who can make a girl feel good, she will always want to be around him. Regardless.
Race
Your race can often affect who you manipulate. This usually sticks to someone of your own race (EG, asian with asian, white with white, black with black). I am not being racist with this, but people naturally connect with people that are more like them. It's human nature. So if your target is of the same race, use that to an advantage. You already have one thing guarenteed in common, use that. Its the first step to control.
Looks
Attractiveness mostly plays a factor in real-life scenarios. Only on occasion is it used in online manipulation. This is rather simple. Individuals tend to look towards attractiveness in the opposite sex.
Walk through a public area and watch a group of guys/girls. Study them for 10-15 minutes, eventually an attractive guy/girl will walk by, and you can see a direct reaction if they are straight. Even if they aren't. Everyone recognizes beauty. (The blind are an exception*).
If you are overly attractive, or even just cute (male/female), use this, do what you can to distract them from what you SAY, to what you DO. If they are studying your features, usually they tend to just nod and agree. This can push them into a position where they either have to give you what you want, or regrettably leave.
M3- Acting the Role
Manipulation, in some cases, requires you to act a role. To put on a mask and pretend to be someone else. This is for people with trust issues, or just the people that aren't "super" interesting.
For this you need to be able to act, and lie. You will need a decent memory to make sure you don't mess up your story. If you do, you can nearly ensure a barrage of questions.
Being able to predict their actions is extremely useful when acting. You have to know how they will respond to what you do. When you're just starting, you cant expect this.
People are naturally cautious. So just remember that they will not just "fall for you" (certain cases are exempt.). If someone seems extra cautious, they usually have something to hide. So give them something to take as compensation. (*explained more in M8)
M4: Rewards/Reason to Pursue
This is fairly general, and personal to each person. I will just list off some reasons that are most "popular".
+Money- Manipulating for money happens VERY often. It's one of the most-occurring reasons.
+Secrets- This is mostly for curiosity. Although in big businesses or the government, this can end up with a big fall or big finish. So more extensive in the upper status'
+Sex- Mostly male's do this. Usually will occur at a bar/club/etc. Fairly obvious reasons.
+Power- Government. Explained in M1
Other Reasons
+Revenge. This can be used on ex girlfriends/ex boyfriends. Very immature. But it's still a reason.
+Spite. Just general disgust or hate towards someone.
+Boredom. Yup. It happens.
+Practice. This is on occasion. I don't advise it.
+If you have others, feel free to post them.
M5: Penalties and Risks
There are risks and penalties to manipulating. This is a short area, since there are SO many, its not worth explaining every little one. These are the one's i find most occurring.
1. Emotional Attachment- This happens between male-females. Usually you end up too close. Just keep in mind your goals and you can prevent it.
2. Losing Yourself- This is usually from acting. If you keep the role too long, you can lose yourself in the act. Once again, keep your goals in mind. And try to keep this role to JUST one person. The same role on multiple people can end up with you taking on the role permanently.
3. Revenge- People who find out they got played, may come back for revenge. If this happens, just play off that it NEVER happened. Deny it all.
4. Serious Trouble- This isn't that often, but if you fuck someone up too bad, and they head to the authorities, you can get in trouble for harassment. Or various other crimes. Just try to keep back. Deny it all. Etc.
M6- Things to Keep in Mind/Tips
This is just a tip section. It will be filled in as people ask questions.
*1- If your trying to gain someone's trust, lie to them. Make your lie fluid and keep your story straight. (*Explained more in M8)
*2- Keep notes of your work. If its an ongoing or long-term manipulation, you will want to remember important things you tell them.
*3- If they start to catch on, you have three choices.
a. Deny it all, and continue your quest.
b. Admit it and pretend to feel bad about it. Make an entirely new story out of it.
c. Leave. Vanish. Quit. This is by far the safest tactic.
*4- If irl (In Real Life), and during a "role" (your acting), a friend/someone who knows you approaches you, return the approach, telling your target you'll be right back. Do NOT let the person get close enough to spill any unwanted information.
**4- If they do manage to spill information, claim its some guy from your high school, it was your nickname blah blah blah. Just lie some more.
M7- Protecting Yourself, "Counter-Manipulation"
This section will explain how to protect yourself FROM BEING MANIPULATED. This is the "Counter-Manipulation" Section. Please enjoy this, since its me basically giving the Anti-Guide.
Basics
The basics of counter-manipulation, are knowing the basics OF manipulation. If you know HOW to manipulate, you'll often know when people try to manipulate you. Learn to manipulate the basics, and you'll catch on fast enough. The following are some basics of what to watch out for if you suspect it.
*1- Being overly Complimented- If someone is complimenting you A LOT, they are trying a basic form of manipulation. Give-And-Get situation. Keep it in mind, if it truly bothers you, tell them you are uncomfortable with compliments.
*2- Mixed Signals- Although this is VERY difficult to notice towards manipulation, NewManipulators will have mixed reactions during their manipulating. They will act one way, then another. This is more in males then females, since females also have the hormonal reasons.
*3- New Feelings- This is stating to someone who originally disliked you, suddenly changing feelings, becoming nice. Etc. (Normally they would gradually switch.) This is almost a sure-fire way to spot a crappy manipulator. Or someone that wants something.
*4- Mixed Stories- As stated above, one tactic is lying. If their story begins to fall apart, it could be one of two things:
a) They are manipulating, and messing up.
b) Genuinely interested in being closer friends, so they are trying to impress you.
*5- Paranoia- As a manipulator, I am EXTREMELY paranoid. Constantly. I'm not 100% if this is an exact signal, but I've noticed others. Paranoia can be summed up as questioning you on who you are, digging for random info. This is making sure you are who you say you are.
*6- Secret-Sharing- If someone tries to get secrets, or offers you one in-exchange, be wary, its a classic technique of false-bait. Just be careful.
*7- Won't allow you to add IRL contacts- This can apply to facebook/myspace/email/phone etc. They give you one that seems "fake" or "small."
*8- Anger- When they ask for something from you, and you say no, or you literally cant, they spaz out, or get upset. This can either be Severe Emotional Distortion or they are not getting what they want. ***Watch out for a Guilt Trip***
M8- Personal Strategies
This topic is rather hard to discuss, I'd much rather explain after a direct question is asked about a certain situation. I will state some things I do to "catch" my "prey" easier.
*1- False Baiting~ This is a tactic where you offer your own secrets, to gain their trust, or get some of their own secrets. Rather good tactic and works often. I usually lie, or tell smaller secrets, but pretend that they are really deep and impacting on yourself.
*2- False Emotion~ This refers to what I just said, Throwing your emotions at topics will make them feel bad, or sorry, for you, which is always useful. If someone feels bad, they are more likely to do something for you. Or trust you even!
*3- Guilt Trip~ Oh joy, this is an easy one. Use this as a backdoor. If they don't tell you something in return, whine and act sad that you trusted them and they don't trust you.
In Real Life
In real life, be more cautious, because people can find you easier. Just watch out. While manipulating, think it out more. There's no "oh sorry, my friend was on the computer" redo's. You have to live by what you say. So be MORE careful then ever.
Online
Online, you have more push-and-pull space. You can mess up more. So if you're practicing, do it online. Although, Person to Person cant be sub'd for this, its still nice practice on wording and training yourself. Keep in mind that your targets here are weaker. People on the internet (targets usually off of Online Games/Chat rooms) are lonelier, weaker, and want someone around. If you really jack-them-up, it can result in them causing themselves pain. It's your risk.
M2- Gender/Race/Looks (manipulating and manipulated)
M3- Acting the Role
M4- Rewards/Reason to Pursue
M5- Penalties/Risks
M6- Important Things to Keep in Mind.
M7- Protecting Yourself, "Counter-Manipulation"
M8- Personal "Strategies"
More will be added if needed.
M1- What is Manipulation?/What you may need
[muh-nip-yuh-ley-shuhn] ma⋅nip⋅u⋅la⋅tion
–noun
1. the act of manipulating.
2. the state or fact of being manipulated.
3. skillful or artful management.
Although that definition is VERY bland, it states the basics. Skillful or artful management. To sum that up *IMO* that means controlling things in a way thats disguised, careful, and well thought out to the extent of it being the norm.
Manipulation [on humans] is the controlling of some extent of their free will for your own, benefit or prerogative. Although this may be done for other individuals, its still YOUR prerogative. Your the one manipulating, your in control. When you manipulate someone, you, unknowingly to them, take a undetermined piece of their free will, and gradually bend it to what pleases you. This can range from complimenting you for your self esteem, to money, to seats of power. Many government officials use basic forms of manipulation to gain power.
Manipulation in Our World {sub-category}
As said before, the best example of modern day manipulation is shown by the government. During elections and other paths-to-power politicians will basically tell you what you want to hear, as to gain your vote or approval. This sounds awfully basic, childish almost, but they used advanced practices in a basic way to please your ears, your emotions, and your minds.
Not only words can be used for manipulation, 'popular' individuals, like actors and other 'beautiful' people often use how they look to get what they want, simple enough right? Well not only the beautiful get it. All forms of looks, gender, race, hair style, eyes, everything can be used to some advantage. So just because you aren't the sexiest apple in the tree doesn't mean you don't get something too!
"Skills"/"talents"/ Other things you may need.
Manipulation is often a give-and-take type thing. You have to give a little to get a lot in return. Giving can range from treating someone to desert, to lying straight out to their face.
Skills/Talents
These are just things that can help you out when your trying to manipulate, they are not a requirement.
+Acting skills, Acting can help you gain their trust, without giving off any information about yourself. This will be further mentioned in M3.
+Generosity, now some of you may read this and think "Wait what? Aren't we trying to ABUSE them? Why would we be generous?!" Well it's simple, If you were to say, buy them some little silly trinket that they took a liking to, they will think 'oh, he/she is so nice!' That increases their trust in you by however much.
+Lying, Some people may not approve of this one, but if you're good at lying, then you have a higher chance for them to trust you. All you need to do is make sure you don't screw your story up.
Other Things You May Need
+To be caring to an extent. They must THINK you are caring.
+Caution, you must remember, you never fully know who you are manipulating from the start. You may be someone else's target.
+Smarts, You have to think out what they have to say, judge their reactions, and know where to move from there.
+Risk taking, Like said above, you need to judge their reactions, and take some risks to continue.
M2- Gender/Race/Looks
Everything affects manipulation in person, and occasionally online. Gender is a constant in manipulation, certain things tick guys, certain things tick girls. Guys generally like sports, while girls generally like shopping (GENERALLY). You bring either of those up, with detail, and you have an instant connection. Forming the bridge to hold that power. Now then!
Male Vs Female
Effects:
Both genders have special "effects". Girls give off the general loving sense, to care, to be there for you, while men give off the protective stance, the "nothing will hurt you". Knowing this is a serious thing when manipulating someone from the opposite sex. Without them, this would be a LOT more difficult.
Males "abilities":
+The "Protection", Males throughout history have been known as protectors, you can use this towards your advantage.
+The "Charmer", Sweet, loving guys are often "rare", so being able to use this can almost ensure some amount of power.
+Attractiveness, as always.
Females "abilities":
+Emotional support
+"Bad-Ass", every straight-male always hopes to find a girl with the same general interests, whether its sports, music, tv, whatever. If a female can pull that off, a guy will usually bide her every word.
+Attractiveness. THIS is the most useful by the "hot", "sexy", "beautiful", etc females. If your attractive, then you have an advantage. A cheap shot. But an advantage.
Defects:
Both genders have weaknesses as well. These can end up letting breaks in your mental wall. These are just the easy one's. I don't expect anyone to use the more difficult one's yet.
Male Weaknesses:
+Attractive females are one of the bigger weaknesses. Stupid I know, but this can be easily prevented by being cautious.
+"Ego-Boosts", someone who boosts your ego makes you feel useful, usually you will stick with them.
Female Weaknesses:
+Attractive males. Easy enough to understand.
+"Ego-Boosts", same as before.
+Sweet-hearts. A guy who can make a girl feel good, she will always want to be around him. Regardless.
Race
Your race can often affect who you manipulate. This usually sticks to someone of your own race (EG, asian with asian, white with white, black with black). I am not being racist with this, but people naturally connect with people that are more like them. It's human nature. So if your target is of the same race, use that to an advantage. You already have one thing guarenteed in common, use that. Its the first step to control.
Looks
Attractiveness mostly plays a factor in real-life scenarios. Only on occasion is it used in online manipulation. This is rather simple. Individuals tend to look towards attractiveness in the opposite sex.
Walk through a public area and watch a group of guys/girls. Study them for 10-15 minutes, eventually an attractive guy/girl will walk by, and you can see a direct reaction if they are straight. Even if they aren't. Everyone recognizes beauty. (The blind are an exception*).
If you are overly attractive, or even just cute (male/female), use this, do what you can to distract them from what you SAY, to what you DO. If they are studying your features, usually they tend to just nod and agree. This can push them into a position where they either have to give you what you want, or regrettably leave.
M3- Acting the Role
Manipulation, in some cases, requires you to act a role. To put on a mask and pretend to be someone else. This is for people with trust issues, or just the people that aren't "super" interesting.
For this you need to be able to act, and lie. You will need a decent memory to make sure you don't mess up your story. If you do, you can nearly ensure a barrage of questions.
Being able to predict their actions is extremely useful when acting. You have to know how they will respond to what you do. When you're just starting, you cant expect this.
People are naturally cautious. So just remember that they will not just "fall for you" (certain cases are exempt.). If someone seems extra cautious, they usually have something to hide. So give them something to take as compensation. (*explained more in M8)
M4: Rewards/Reason to Pursue
This is fairly general, and personal to each person. I will just list off some reasons that are most "popular".
+Money- Manipulating for money happens VERY often. It's one of the most-occurring reasons.
+Secrets- This is mostly for curiosity. Although in big businesses or the government, this can end up with a big fall or big finish. So more extensive in the upper status'
+Sex- Mostly male's do this. Usually will occur at a bar/club/etc. Fairly obvious reasons.
+Power- Government. Explained in M1
Other Reasons
+Revenge. This can be used on ex girlfriends/ex boyfriends. Very immature. But it's still a reason.
+Spite. Just general disgust or hate towards someone.
+Boredom. Yup. It happens.
+Practice. This is on occasion. I don't advise it.
+If you have others, feel free to post them.
M5: Penalties and Risks
There are risks and penalties to manipulating. This is a short area, since there are SO many, its not worth explaining every little one. These are the one's i find most occurring.
1. Emotional Attachment- This happens between male-females. Usually you end up too close. Just keep in mind your goals and you can prevent it.
2. Losing Yourself- This is usually from acting. If you keep the role too long, you can lose yourself in the act. Once again, keep your goals in mind. And try to keep this role to JUST one person. The same role on multiple people can end up with you taking on the role permanently.
3. Revenge- People who find out they got played, may come back for revenge. If this happens, just play off that it NEVER happened. Deny it all.
4. Serious Trouble- This isn't that often, but if you fuck someone up too bad, and they head to the authorities, you can get in trouble for harassment. Or various other crimes. Just try to keep back. Deny it all. Etc.
M6- Things to Keep in Mind/Tips
This is just a tip section. It will be filled in as people ask questions.
*1- If your trying to gain someone's trust, lie to them. Make your lie fluid and keep your story straight. (*Explained more in M8)
*2- Keep notes of your work. If its an ongoing or long-term manipulation, you will want to remember important things you tell them.
*3- If they start to catch on, you have three choices.
a. Deny it all, and continue your quest.
b. Admit it and pretend to feel bad about it. Make an entirely new story out of it.
c. Leave. Vanish. Quit. This is by far the safest tactic.
*4- If irl (In Real Life), and during a "role" (your acting), a friend/someone who knows you approaches you, return the approach, telling your target you'll be right back. Do NOT let the person get close enough to spill any unwanted information.
**4- If they do manage to spill information, claim its some guy from your high school, it was your nickname blah blah blah. Just lie some more.
M7- Protecting Yourself, "Counter-Manipulation"
This section will explain how to protect yourself FROM BEING MANIPULATED. This is the "Counter-Manipulation" Section. Please enjoy this, since its me basically giving the Anti-Guide.
Basics
The basics of counter-manipulation, are knowing the basics OF manipulation. If you know HOW to manipulate, you'll often know when people try to manipulate you. Learn to manipulate the basics, and you'll catch on fast enough. The following are some basics of what to watch out for if you suspect it.
*1- Being overly Complimented- If someone is complimenting you A LOT, they are trying a basic form of manipulation. Give-And-Get situation. Keep it in mind, if it truly bothers you, tell them you are uncomfortable with compliments.
*2- Mixed Signals- Although this is VERY difficult to notice towards manipulation, NewManipulators will have mixed reactions during their manipulating. They will act one way, then another. This is more in males then females, since females also have the hormonal reasons.
*3- New Feelings- This is stating to someone who originally disliked you, suddenly changing feelings, becoming nice. Etc. (Normally they would gradually switch.) This is almost a sure-fire way to spot a crappy manipulator. Or someone that wants something.
*4- Mixed Stories- As stated above, one tactic is lying. If their story begins to fall apart, it could be one of two things:
a) They are manipulating, and messing up.
b) Genuinely interested in being closer friends, so they are trying to impress you.
*5- Paranoia- As a manipulator, I am EXTREMELY paranoid. Constantly. I'm not 100% if this is an exact signal, but I've noticed others. Paranoia can be summed up as questioning you on who you are, digging for random info. This is making sure you are who you say you are.
*6- Secret-Sharing- If someone tries to get secrets, or offers you one in-exchange, be wary, its a classic technique of false-bait. Just be careful.
*7- Won't allow you to add IRL contacts- This can apply to facebook/myspace/email/phone etc. They give you one that seems "fake" or "small."
*8- Anger- When they ask for something from you, and you say no, or you literally cant, they spaz out, or get upset. This can either be Severe Emotional Distortion or they are not getting what they want. ***Watch out for a Guilt Trip***
M8- Personal Strategies
This topic is rather hard to discuss, I'd much rather explain after a direct question is asked about a certain situation. I will state some things I do to "catch" my "prey" easier.
*1- False Baiting~ This is a tactic where you offer your own secrets, to gain their trust, or get some of their own secrets. Rather good tactic and works often. I usually lie, or tell smaller secrets, but pretend that they are really deep and impacting on yourself.
*2- False Emotion~ This refers to what I just said, Throwing your emotions at topics will make them feel bad, or sorry, for you, which is always useful. If someone feels bad, they are more likely to do something for you. Or trust you even!
*3- Guilt Trip~ Oh joy, this is an easy one. Use this as a backdoor. If they don't tell you something in return, whine and act sad that you trusted them and they don't trust you.
In Real Life
In real life, be more cautious, because people can find you easier. Just watch out. While manipulating, think it out more. There's no "oh sorry, my friend was on the computer" redo's. You have to live by what you say. So be MORE careful then ever.
Online
Online, you have more push-and-pull space. You can mess up more. So if you're practicing, do it online. Although, Person to Person cant be sub'd for this, its still nice practice on wording and training yourself. Keep in mind that your targets here are weaker. People on the internet (targets usually off of Online Games/Chat rooms) are lonelier, weaker, and want someone around. If you really jack-them-up, it can result in them causing themselves pain. It's your risk.
Types of stubbornness
First off, I am writing this in order to explain you that people are pretty much different. You cannot say for someone that they are stupid, stubborn, bad, fast or anything else without specified reason.
So I am using the same thing for stubbornness.
You have different types, different stances, different opinions. It doesn’t have to mean that someone is stubborn just because they are not supporting your opinion. I will explain some of that now.
Stubbornness is the quality or state of being stubbornly inflexible: die-hardism, grimness, implacability, incompliance, inexorability, inexorableness, inflexibility, inflexibleness, intransigence, obduracy, obdurateness, relentlessness, remorselessness, rigidity.
Believe it or not, you have more types of stubbornness, and it can also be caused by multiple events or triggering points.If we talk about triggering points, that will be very huge subject, so I will skip it for now.
Let us talk about types:
1) LIFETIME QUESTIONS – this depends on anything that you have decided to accept as your lifetime belief, profession, habit…
Examples:
- You are Christian and you believe that "God" exists.
- You are a sportsmen and you think that you cannot live without sport.
- You love computing and if someone tells you to stay off your computer, you will not even pay attention to them.
Now back to the subject, this is very hard to change or influent. Why? If someone has any opinion for so long time, so many ages without changing it, even providing the best evidence will not reprogram their brain, because their brain recognizes these info as right one.
If you try to influence those questions, I am 95% sure that you will fail, unless you have a huge amount of respect that you have earned in your opponent's eyes or your opponent doesn’t have completely formed opinions and stances.
2) OPINION MISUNDERSTANDING – Good example for this is when you have two people arguing about the same thing, and one of them is obviously right, and the other one will not accept that, or will not confess that they are defeated or anything similar; unless proof is provided
Example:
Two men are arguing if Stallin was the Soviet Union leader. First man is supporting the first belief, and the other one is saying that he was leader ofLithuania
This type of stubbornness is the least dangerous, but it can make you look stupid. sometimes
3) EMOTIONAL STUBBORNNESS – this is also known as emotionally provoked stubbornness
Example: Someone is telling you that relationships are not always great option. They are not lying to you (they have proof), but they hurt your feelings in the past when they lied to you about less important things.
So you are intentionally telling them that relationships are great and you won’t change your opinion, because your brain recognizes this as one more lie, and you don’t respect that person because of their previous scams. You also can think that this person hates you or wishes you pain and suffering, and this can also be a reason for your decision.
4) PREVIOUS FIRING POINT – this is the type which consists of one previous bad experience, which returns to you always in the same or similar situation in the future. This can also be known as traumatized stubbornness.
Example: A friend screwed you over, and some time has passed. You are very sensitive from the inside. You are in the similar situation with your other friend after some time, and he is providing you evidences that you should listen to him and has strong arguments, but you stay on your opinion in order to protect yourself from trolling.
5) DEADLY TYPE – this is very, very dangerous because this kind of person will not change their opinion even if you have a whole nation on your back supporting your opinion. I really don’t know the reason why these people are doing what they do, but my advice is to stay away from these types of people.
Example: The wall is green. Other person is telling you that the wall is yellow, nevertheless he sees that the wall is green.
6) PHYSIOLOGICAL TYPE – you are telling someone to leave something or not to do something, but he has physiological needs for this activity or process
Example: You are a smoker. You know that someone has right when he tells you that smoking ruins your health. However, your brain and organism cannot handle a day without cigarettes. And you are saying that cigarettes are not going to kill you, and that he should chill up a little bit. You did this because your hormones started to work at that time, and you have habit to smoke. After some time, your brain will reprogram this information that way.
This is still under further investigation, because some scientists are saying that this is form of a defensive mechanism.
7) STEP IN FRONT – if you can read somebody like a book, you will be able to predict their next movement. If someone tells you that they will not do that, you will not accept their opinion, you will not even bother listening to it.
Example: You know that somebody is trying to screw you. He is persuading you that you should trust him and specifies reasons, but you strictly deny because you know that he is a scammer or a bad person.
8) PARANOID STUBBORNNESS - someone is simply paranoid because they were tricked too many times
Example: A new person adds you as a friend on facebook and asks you multiple times through messages to accept her. You were tricked so many times or you are a hacker, so you are afraid that this could be dangerous for you, that this could be a risk and so on.
You are not accepting, even if you know that this person really exists in real life.
First off, I am writing this in order to explain you that people are pretty much different. You cannot say for someone that they are stupid, stubborn, bad, fast or anything else without specified reason.
So I am using the same thing for stubbornness.
You have different types, different stances, different opinions. It doesn’t have to mean that someone is stubborn just because they are not supporting your opinion. I will explain some of that now.
Stubbornness is the quality or state of being stubbornly inflexible: die-hardism, grimness, implacability, incompliance, inexorability, inexorableness, inflexibility, inflexibleness, intransigence, obduracy, obdurateness, relentlessness, remorselessness, rigidity.
Believe it or not, you have more types of stubbornness, and it can also be caused by multiple events or triggering points.If we talk about triggering points, that will be very huge subject, so I will skip it for now.
Let us talk about types:
1) LIFETIME QUESTIONS – this depends on anything that you have decided to accept as your lifetime belief, profession, habit…
Examples:
- You are Christian and you believe that "God" exists.
- You are a sportsmen and you think that you cannot live without sport.
- You love computing and if someone tells you to stay off your computer, you will not even pay attention to them.
Now back to the subject, this is very hard to change or influent. Why? If someone has any opinion for so long time, so many ages without changing it, even providing the best evidence will not reprogram their brain, because their brain recognizes these info as right one.
If you try to influence those questions, I am 95% sure that you will fail, unless you have a huge amount of respect that you have earned in your opponent's eyes or your opponent doesn’t have completely formed opinions and stances.
2) OPINION MISUNDERSTANDING – Good example for this is when you have two people arguing about the same thing, and one of them is obviously right, and the other one will not accept that, or will not confess that they are defeated or anything similar; unless proof is provided
Example:
Two men are arguing if Stallin was the Soviet Union leader. First man is supporting the first belief, and the other one is saying that he was leader of
This type of stubbornness is the least dangerous, but it can make you look stupid. sometimes
3) EMOTIONAL STUBBORNNESS – this is also known as emotionally provoked stubbornness
Example: Someone is telling you that relationships are not always great option. They are not lying to you (they have proof), but they hurt your feelings in the past when they lied to you about less important things.
So you are intentionally telling them that relationships are great and you won’t change your opinion, because your brain recognizes this as one more lie, and you don’t respect that person because of their previous scams. You also can think that this person hates you or wishes you pain and suffering, and this can also be a reason for your decision.
4) PREVIOUS FIRING POINT – this is the type which consists of one previous bad experience, which returns to you always in the same or similar situation in the future. This can also be known as traumatized stubbornness.
Example: A friend screwed you over, and some time has passed. You are very sensitive from the inside. You are in the similar situation with your other friend after some time, and he is providing you evidences that you should listen to him and has strong arguments, but you stay on your opinion in order to protect yourself from trolling.
5) DEADLY TYPE – this is very, very dangerous because this kind of person will not change their opinion even if you have a whole nation on your back supporting your opinion. I really don’t know the reason why these people are doing what they do, but my advice is to stay away from these types of people.
Example: The wall is green. Other person is telling you that the wall is yellow, nevertheless he sees that the wall is green.
6) PHYSIOLOGICAL TYPE – you are telling someone to leave something or not to do something, but he has physiological needs for this activity or process
Example: You are a smoker. You know that someone has right when he tells you that smoking ruins your health. However, your brain and organism cannot handle a day without cigarettes. And you are saying that cigarettes are not going to kill you, and that he should chill up a little bit. You did this because your hormones started to work at that time, and you have habit to smoke. After some time, your brain will reprogram this information that way.
This is still under further investigation, because some scientists are saying that this is form of a defensive mechanism.
7) STEP IN FRONT – if you can read somebody like a book, you will be able to predict their next movement. If someone tells you that they will not do that, you will not accept their opinion, you will not even bother listening to it.
Example: You know that somebody is trying to screw you. He is persuading you that you should trust him and specifies reasons, but you strictly deny because you know that he is a scammer or a bad person.
8) PARANOID STUBBORNNESS - someone is simply paranoid because they were tricked too many times
Example: A new person adds you as a friend on facebook and asks you multiple times through messages to accept her. You were tricked so many times or you are a hacker, so you are afraid that this could be dangerous for you, that this could be a risk and so on.
You are not accepting, even if you know that this person really exists in real life.
Ten rules of effective persuasion
Important sentences:
- Persuasion is the skill of using words to change the way others think, feel and behave.
- Persuasion produces internal change in the other person that he or she can use in the other situations.
- Persuasion can be applied in any human interaction that involves communication.
- In order to successfully persuade, you will need persuasion and wisdom.
- Persuasion rules focus on a big picture - planning, opportunity, goals – but not on specific persuasion plays.
Rule 1: There are no laws, only rules
Persuasion is always hard. You can't simply mark and win the lottery ticket, you are not the only one doing it. It is difficult, changeable and unpredictable; there are no habits.
There is no routine here. You should not always follow the same scheme.
You must not focus on the same spot or sentence.
Simply, you must look for unusual variations, angles and surprising turns.
Example:
You are trying to persuade someone, and you know that he is vulnerable to higher knowledge level.
You know more than him. But, in the meantime, he changes his personality and he doesn't give a fuck about anything.
Maybe he survives some trauma and everything becomes equal to him. Will you use the same strategy and same law?
Of course not, you will try to adjust yourself to the new situation.
Rule 2: It's always about the other guy.
Who are you actually trying to persuade?
Is he listening to you?
Do you have strong evidence?
Are you having any kind of influence on that person?
Are you smarter than that person?
And so many other questions…
Example:
Fail:
1)You are trying to persuade a Christian person that God does not exist.(religious or life beliefs)
2) You are trying to tell NASA Scientist that Earth is not turning around the sun (Your knowledge level is a lot lower).
3)You are trying to persuade person which is dead from the inside that someone loves him/her.
(Person is left by everyone, and you are telling the opposite thing without strong evidence, in their own system of values)
Good:
1)You know a lot more in some area than other person.
2)You are expert in some areas other person knows nothing or very little about.
3) You are providing very strong evidence.
4) Person you are trying to persuade trusts you.
5) Other person is gullible.
Rule 3:People tend to resist change.
Every time you try to change somebody, they will ask themselves:
”Is this change worth it? Will I feel better if I…?”
Be patient, changes do not occur frequently. Change needs time.
Example:
You are trying to persuade someone that they should eat less, because they are fat.
If you tell them without any evidence, this may potentially turn into a failure.
But if this person is a male, you can tell him that the girls will love him more if he loses a few pounds.
Or tell him that he will look better, he will be able to move more…
Remember, we are humans. We all have weak spots, you just need to locate them…
Rule 4: All persuasion is local.
Local means that everything is going on in your persuasive situation.
You need to be aware of local elements and factors.
Important factors are:
- You and your goals at the moment.
- The other person and their goals at the moment.
- The nature of relationship between you and the other person.
- Other stuff that is going on in that situation.
What are you and the other person?
Variables could be mood, mental state, skill or motivation.
What are your goals and other person's goals?
Goals are the things you are trying to accomplish, right now with the person, but also in the long term.
What is your relationship?
Friends or lovers, colleagues, competitors, supervisor, subordinate, teacher – student, strangers…
And it may also be important how long have you known each other.
What is the situation? Everything going on in life around you and around the other person. Religious, political, educational, friendly, work, play, time, date, day of the week...
When you combine all of this and your situation,you will realize that persuasion is very,very hard.
Example: You are trying to persuade your colleague that your view on some topic is better. They do not agree with you, and they disrespect you, and have better grades.
Also, you are in a trolley car and noise is loud… It is obvious that your chances are not big.
Rule 5: If you cannot succeed, don't try to.
This is just like earning someone's trust.
If you fail they will not trust you anymore, or they will trust you less and respect you less.
If you are wrong, you do not have status quo anymore, you are not the authority, you are just a jerk in their eyes.
Example: You are trying to persuade professional K1 fighter that he should attack head of the opponent, whose hands are standing in a very high guard. There is a big chance this will fail, because every normal fighter will attack the legs or stomach first, and after the guard is lowered, the head is free for an attack and possible KO.
Rule 6: Effective persuasion takes planning
Everything takes time. You need to be patient. Every persuasion is slightly different and requires a unique plan.
Example: I have a friend (she) that would do almost anything for me. She is very popular, but she doesn't like to be friend with everybody.
I don't give a crap about her at all!
I am just pretending that I am her friend because she is so popular and she will give me a lot more that you can imagine. I needed four months to become her good friend.
Thank you HackRules for learning me these wonderful things, it is the truth that our relationship is based on a lie ,but she is blinded and trusts me everything I say about my “emotions” for her.
Rule 7: All bad persuasion is sincere.
Sincere communicators are lousy persuaders. They call everything exactly how they see it. They will say what moves them, but not what moves the other person.
For a good persuader, it is very important to be calm, creative and full of wonderful examples, natural feelings and desires.
Example: You are telling someone that you know more than them, and you are just yelling that you know more and avoid any+ kind of conversation.
This is not good, because other people will think that you are avoiding this for some reason. And what is that reason?
Even if you really know more than them, explain them in front of other people (or when you two are alone, depends on the other perosn), calmly and easily why ls he making a mistake, and provide example.
Rule 8:Persuasion Kiss
You should always find new resources, ideas and thoughts.
You must always look one step ahead.
The Deeper the situational awareness and skill, the bigger chances you have.
Example: Your friend (she) is helping you to persuade someone in something. She knows a lot more, but she won’t talk unless she is rewarded.
Hug her, kiss her, tell her gentle words, flirt, gossip… Whatever she likes, and “Keep it up” is always important, raise her motivation.
If you know her weak spots, ”help” her bypass them or heal them.
She will come to you very quickly.
Rule 9:Walk softly and carry a big stick.
Power can make problems in persuasion.
If you feel yourself too powerful, you will open yourself in one moment and make a fatal error. To avoid that, be calm, stand on the ground, even be paranoid. This will help you a lot.
If you base everything on your power, you will have bigger chances to lose the argument and become a poor persuader.
Example:
You are aggressively telling someone that they made an error, for example football center forward that he is always late on center shot.
If you yell at them, they won’t know what their mistake is.
But if you gently tell them that they had a bad start, and that they should try to start the moment the ball is centered by his co-player, maybe you will have more success.
Sit and talk to him instead of yelling, explain to him why he made that error, try to correct it in the training, repeat this process a few times and he will surely make less errors.
Maybe he won’t be late at all next time, but this will have more effect than yelling.
Rule 10: Power corrupts persuasion
You must practice persuasion. It is a skill.
It is not just a stupid thing, it needs time, you will need training, experience and tactics. It will diminish if you don’t train often.
Use public chatrooms to train online, or use your school or teammates to train every day.
Example: You have two guys. One of them trained heavily on chat, and the other one just thinks that he is the law, and that he is the most beautiful guy in the world, with a lack of knowledge and wonderful look.
Though he has advantage in the start, he will probably lose – lack of skill, informations, evidence, knowledge. He will only win if the other person is his good friend, or some person that is crazily in love with him.
Otherwise, he will just fail.
I hope you like this thread. Please take a moment to leave comments and do not copy it without giving credits.
- Persuasion is the skill of using words to change the way others think, feel and behave.
- Persuasion produces internal change in the other person that he or she can use in the other situations.
- Persuasion can be applied in any human interaction that involves communication.
- In order to successfully persuade, you will need persuasion and wisdom.
- Persuasion rules focus on a big picture - planning, opportunity, goals – but not on specific persuasion plays.
Rule 1: There are no laws, only rules
Persuasion is always hard. You can't simply mark and win the lottery ticket, you are not the only one doing it. It is difficult, changeable and unpredictable; there are no habits.
There is no routine here. You should not always follow the same scheme.
You must not focus on the same spot or sentence.
Simply, you must look for unusual variations, angles and surprising turns.
Example:
You are trying to persuade someone, and you know that he is vulnerable to higher knowledge level.
You know more than him. But, in the meantime, he changes his personality and he doesn't give a fuck about anything.
Maybe he survives some trauma and everything becomes equal to him. Will you use the same strategy and same law?
Of course not, you will try to adjust yourself to the new situation.
Rule 2: It's always about the other guy.
Who are you actually trying to persuade?
Is he listening to you?
Do you have strong evidence?
Are you having any kind of influence on that person?
Are you smarter than that person?
And so many other questions…
Example:
Fail:
1)You are trying to persuade a Christian person that God does not exist.(religious or life beliefs)
2) You are trying to tell NASA Scientist that Earth is not turning around the sun (Your knowledge level is a lot lower).
3)You are trying to persuade person which is dead from the inside that someone loves him/her.
(Person is left by everyone, and you are telling the opposite thing without strong evidence, in their own system of values)
Good:
1)You know a lot more in some area than other person.
2)You are expert in some areas other person knows nothing or very little about.
3) You are providing very strong evidence.
4) Person you are trying to persuade trusts you.
5) Other person is gullible.
Rule 3:People tend to resist change.
Every time you try to change somebody, they will ask themselves:
”Is this change worth it? Will I feel better if I…?”
Be patient, changes do not occur frequently. Change needs time.
Example:
You are trying to persuade someone that they should eat less, because they are fat.
If you tell them without any evidence, this may potentially turn into a failure.
But if this person is a male, you can tell him that the girls will love him more if he loses a few pounds.
Or tell him that he will look better, he will be able to move more…
Remember, we are humans. We all have weak spots, you just need to locate them…
Rule 4: All persuasion is local.
Local means that everything is going on in your persuasive situation.
You need to be aware of local elements and factors.
Important factors are:
- You and your goals at the moment.
- The other person and their goals at the moment.
- The nature of relationship between you and the other person.
- Other stuff that is going on in that situation.
What are you and the other person?
Variables could be mood, mental state, skill or motivation.
What are your goals and other person's goals?
Goals are the things you are trying to accomplish, right now with the person, but also in the long term.
What is your relationship?
Friends or lovers, colleagues, competitors, supervisor, subordinate, teacher – student, strangers…
And it may also be important how long have you known each other.
What is the situation? Everything going on in life around you and around the other person. Religious, political, educational, friendly, work, play, time, date, day of the week...
When you combine all of this and your situation,you will realize that persuasion is very,very hard.
Example: You are trying to persuade your colleague that your view on some topic is better. They do not agree with you, and they disrespect you, and have better grades.
Also, you are in a trolley car and noise is loud… It is obvious that your chances are not big.
Rule 5: If you cannot succeed, don't try to.
This is just like earning someone's trust.
If you fail they will not trust you anymore, or they will trust you less and respect you less.
If you are wrong, you do not have status quo anymore, you are not the authority, you are just a jerk in their eyes.
Example: You are trying to persuade professional K1 fighter that he should attack head of the opponent, whose hands are standing in a very high guard. There is a big chance this will fail, because every normal fighter will attack the legs or stomach first, and after the guard is lowered, the head is free for an attack and possible KO.
Rule 6: Effective persuasion takes planning
Everything takes time. You need to be patient. Every persuasion is slightly different and requires a unique plan.
Example: I have a friend (she) that would do almost anything for me. She is very popular, but she doesn't like to be friend with everybody.
I don't give a crap about her at all!
I am just pretending that I am her friend because she is so popular and she will give me a lot more that you can imagine. I needed four months to become her good friend.
Thank you HackRules for learning me these wonderful things, it is the truth that our relationship is based on a lie ,but she is blinded and trusts me everything I say about my “emotions” for her.
Rule 7: All bad persuasion is sincere.
Sincere communicators are lousy persuaders. They call everything exactly how they see it. They will say what moves them, but not what moves the other person.
For a good persuader, it is very important to be calm, creative and full of wonderful examples, natural feelings and desires.
Example: You are telling someone that you know more than them, and you are just yelling that you know more and avoid any+ kind of conversation.
This is not good, because other people will think that you are avoiding this for some reason. And what is that reason?
Even if you really know more than them, explain them in front of other people (or when you two are alone, depends on the other perosn), calmly and easily why ls he making a mistake, and provide example.
Rule 8:Persuasion Kiss
You should always find new resources, ideas and thoughts.
You must always look one step ahead.
The Deeper the situational awareness and skill, the bigger chances you have.
Example: Your friend (she) is helping you to persuade someone in something. She knows a lot more, but she won’t talk unless she is rewarded.
Hug her, kiss her, tell her gentle words, flirt, gossip… Whatever she likes, and “Keep it up” is always important, raise her motivation.
If you know her weak spots, ”help” her bypass them or heal them.
She will come to you very quickly.
Rule 9:Walk softly and carry a big stick.
Power can make problems in persuasion.
If you feel yourself too powerful, you will open yourself in one moment and make a fatal error. To avoid that, be calm, stand on the ground, even be paranoid. This will help you a lot.
If you base everything on your power, you will have bigger chances to lose the argument and become a poor persuader.
Example:
You are aggressively telling someone that they made an error, for example football center forward that he is always late on center shot.
If you yell at them, they won’t know what their mistake is.
But if you gently tell them that they had a bad start, and that they should try to start the moment the ball is centered by his co-player, maybe you will have more success.
Sit and talk to him instead of yelling, explain to him why he made that error, try to correct it in the training, repeat this process a few times and he will surely make less errors.
Maybe he won’t be late at all next time, but this will have more effect than yelling.
Rule 10: Power corrupts persuasion
You must practice persuasion. It is a skill.
It is not just a stupid thing, it needs time, you will need training, experience and tactics. It will diminish if you don’t train often.
Use public chatrooms to train online, or use your school or teammates to train every day.
Example: You have two guys. One of them trained heavily on chat, and the other one just thinks that he is the law, and that he is the most beautiful guy in the world, with a lack of knowledge and wonderful look.
Though he has advantage in the start, he will probably lose – lack of skill, informations, evidence, knowledge. He will only win if the other person is his good friend, or some person that is crazily in love with him.
Otherwise, he will just fail.
I hope you like this thread. Please take a moment to leave comments and do not copy it without giving credits.
