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Saturday, January 7, 2012

Emotional manipulation - recognizing and counter techniques


Hello members, today I will talk you about preventing from emotional manipulation. These valuable words and sentences, if read carefully, can lead you to bypassing their attack mechanism and force them to leave you alone and go further.

1. There is no use in trying to be honest with an emotional manipulator. You make a statement and it will be turned around. Example: I am really angry that you forgot my birthday. Response - "It makes me feel sad that you would think I would forget your birthday, I should have told you of the great personal stress I am facing at the moment - but you see I didn’t want to trouble you. You are right I should have put all this pain (don’t be surprised to see real tears at this point) aside and focused on your birthday. Sorry." Even as you are hearing the words you get the creeped out sensation that they really do NOT mean they are sorry at all - but since they’ve said the words you’re pretty much left with nothing more to say. Either that or you suddenly find yourself babysitting their angst!! Under all circumstances if you feel this angle is being played - don’t capitulate! Do not care take - do not accept an apology that feels like bullshit. If it feels like bullshit - it probably is. Rule number one - if dealing with an emotional blackmailer TRUST your gut. TRUST your senses. Once an emotional manipulator finds a successful maneuver - it’s added to their hit list and you’ll be fed a steady diet of this shit.

2. An emotional manipulator is the picture of a willing helper. If you ask them to do something they will almost always agree - that is IF they didn’t volunteer to do it first. Then when you say, "ok thanks" - they make a bunch of heavy sighs, or other non verbal signs that let you know they don’t really want to do whatever said thing happens to be. When you tell them it doesn’t seem like they want to do whatever - they will turn it around and try to make it seem like OF COURSE they wanted to and how unreasonable you are. This is a form of crazy making - which is something emotional manipulators are very good at. Rule number two - If an emotional manipulator said YES - make them accountable for it. Do NOT buy into the sighs and subtleties - if they don’t want to do it - make them tell you it up front - or just put on the walk-man headphones and run a bath and leave them to their theater.

3. Crazy making - saying one thing and later assuring you they did not say it.If you find yourself in a relationship where you figure you should start keeping a log of what’s been said because you are beginning to question your own sanity --You are experiencing emotional manipulation. An emotional manipulator is an expert in turning things around, rationalizing, justifying and explaining things away. They can lie so smoothly that you can sit looking at black and they’ll call it white - and argue so persuasively that you begin to doubt your very senses. Over a period of time this is so insidious and eroding it can literally alter your sense of reality. WARNING: Emotional Manipulation is VERY Dangerous! It is very disconcerting for an emotional manipulator if you begin carrying a pad of paper and a pen and making notations during conversations. Feel free to let them know you just are feeling so "forgetful" these days that you want to record their words for posterity’s sake. The damndest thing about this is that having to do such a thing is a clear example for why you should be seriously thinking about removing yourself from range in the first place. If you’re toting a notebook to safeguard yourself - that ol’ bullshit meter should be flashing steady by now!

4. Guilt. Emotional manipulators are excellent guilt mongers. They can make you feel guilty for speaking up or not speaking up, for being emotional or not being emotional enough, for giving and caring, or for not giving and caring enough. Any thing is fair game and open to guilt with an emotional manipulator. Emotional manipulators seldom express their needs or desires openly - they get what they want through emotional manipulation. Guilt is not the only form of this but it is a potent one. Most of us are pretty conditioned to do whatever is necessary to reduce our feelings of guilt. Another powerful emotion that is used is sympathy. An emotional manipulator is a great slave. They inspire a profound sense of needing to support, care for and nurture. Emotional Manipulators seldom fight their own fights or do their own dirty work. The crazy thing is that when you do it for them (which they will never ask directly for), they may just turn around and say they certainly didn’t want or expect you to do anything! Try to make a point of not fighting other people’s battles, or doing their dirty work for them. A great line is "I have every confidence in your ability to work this out on your own" - check out the response and note the bullshit meter once again.

5. Emotional manipulators fight dirty. They don’t deal with things directly. They will talk around behind your back and eventually put others in the position of telling you what they would not say themselves. They are passive aggressive, meaning they find subtle ways of letting you know they are not happy little campers. They’ll tell you what they think you want to hear and then do a bunch of jerk off shit to undermine it. Example: "Of course I want you to go back to school honey and you know I’ll support you." Then exam night you are sitting at the table and poker buddies show up, the kids are crying the t.v. blasting and the dog needs walking - all the while "Sweetie" is sitting on their ass looking at you blankly. Dare you call them on such behavior you are likely to hear, "well you can’t expect life to just stop because you have an exam can you honey?" Cry, scream or choke ‘em - only the last will have any long-term benefits and it’ll probably wind your butt in jail.

6. If you have a headache an emotional manipulator will have a brain tumor! No matter what your situation is the emotional manipulator has probably been there or is there now - but only ten times worse. It’s hard after a period of time to feel emotionally connected to an emotional manipulator because they have a way of de-railing conversations and putting the spotlight back on themselves. If you call them on this behavior they will likely become deeply wounded or very petulant and call you selfish - or claim that it is you who are always in the spotlight. The thing is that even tho you know this is not the case you are left with the impossible task of proving it. Don’t bother - TRUST your gut and walk away!

7. Emotional manipulators somehow have the ability to impact the emotional climate of those around them. When an emotional manipulator is sad or angry the very room thrums with it - it brings a deep instinctual response to find someway to equalize the emotional climate and the quickest route is by making the emotional manipulator feel better - fixing whatever is broken for them. Stick with this type of loser for too long and you will be so enmeshed and co-dependent you will forget you even have needs - let alone that you have just as much right to have your needs met.

8. Emotional manipulators have no sense of accountability.
They take no responsibility for themselves or their behavior - it is always about what everyone else has "done to them". One of the easiest ways to spot an emotional manipulator is that they often attempt to establish intimacy through the early sharing of deeply personal information that is generally of the "hook-you-in-and-make-you-sorry-for-me" variety. Initially you may perceive this type of person as very sensitive, emotionally open and maybe a little vulnerable. Believe me when I say that an emotional manipulator is about as vulnerable as a rabid pit bull, and there will always be a problem or a crisis to overcome.

One of the greatest dangers today in real world are emotional manipulators. They are inside of us, trying to recruit normal people behave by their patterns. Today I will learn you how to counter- attack them and learn them onced for all that they can’t harm you.
Emotional manipulation is doing/saying something that you KNOW is going to cause your significant other to feel badly about themselves, about the relationship in an attempt to get them to do what you want. It is PURPOSEFUL and MALICIOUS. It's abuse plain and simple.Insecurities is a manifestation of an individuals own lack of self-worth or self-esteem.

1) Recognizing

This is the hardest part. But let’s start. Have you ever introduced a stranger who talks to you few minutes and starting to go around your personal things? Or directly asking you these kind of questions like you are friends for years… If person is drunk, this might be normal behaviour, but if not it is time to suspect. Emotional manipulators generally have similar behaviour patterns. These can be females or males, but mostly these are females.
Here are some basic features:
- attractivness – they are normal looking, pretty or very pretty
- domination – they will try to stay dominant in every possible situation and they will always give their best to owe everybody they can
- behaviour change – they will behave differently once they are alone with you and in front of ten people
- sexiness – they will try to be as much as they can close with you in order to harvest your personal data
- false baiting – they will offer you their “deepest secrets” to get yours
- watching – they spectate you very carefully and look for the weak spots
- popularity – they are very popular or they care a lot about their popularity in society
- personality type – in most cases these people are extroverted and have possibility to make someone go crazy about them
- guilt morging – you will always be guilty for their mistakes failures
- arguing and love – one moment they will tell you the worst things and next moment they will be crazily inlove with you and behave extremely gentle
- “helping” – in the beginning they will try to make you think that they want to help everybody
- Emotions – these people mostly dislike the whole world, sometimes even don’t respect themselves. Don’t fall for their tricks!
- Psychology and controlling techniques – either they are born with it either they developed this skill – their SE knowledge is very high, unless you are trained or extremely paranoid and skeptic, you can become their slave – they will bypass your masks even if they need time
- Booooooooooooring – they will call you frequently and send messages
- Friendship – they cannot handle if they are not the most valuable thing in the world
- Self – confidence – either it is extremely low either extremely high
- Identification – they want you to become like them or to obtain their orders and follow their rules
- Baits – if they find your weak spot, they will attack at all costs straight into the centre
- Clothing style – they mustn’t stay unnoticed. If it is a girl, it will usually have makeup, powder, be combed and wear anything that will put her figure in the centre of attention
- Endangered types – they mostly attack sad people, best students, people that don’t have many friends, good people that don’t respond like jerks, altruistic, honest people, extremely emotional, non- powerful, people full of condolence, or horny fuckers that will give everything to have the best chick at all costs
- Ego – this is their strongest personality part

2) Processing

This is easy. Once noticed, take a piece of paper. Write everything suspicious and classified about that person on that piece of paper. Make sure to write everything they say and deny. They will tell you that you are crazy, because their cover will usually be based on your sanity and abnormality. If you are unsure of yourself, that can happen, BUT YOU ARE EXTREMELY SURE IN YOUR PIECE OF PAPER AND WRITTEN DATA!!! You are not crazy, this is trick. You will never feel guilty for creating their psychological profile, that is not your mistake or dirty trick, that is only defensive technique.
Make sure to write as much their weak spots as you can. And now it is time for counter – attacking! Oh do I have to say that I “feel sorry for them” now?! HeheHeheHehe

3) Counter techniques

I will pass each possible counter – attacks according to their possible behaviour. You will of course add your ideas, please! I am just giving counter attacks that I claim to be the best, but I respect everybody’s ideas so PLEASE ADD SOMETHING IF YOU THINK I MISSED!

False bait
- I don’t talk to babblers.
- I know that you will bark about me, I am not stupid.
- False bait your granny!

Guilt morging
Female:
- I cannot be guilty because your ass( pussy) is not being satisfied regularly.
- I don’t give a fuck about your complexes, people like you cannot make me feel guilty because you are not worth of that.
Male:
- You think I will feel sorry for YOU? How pathetic and immature…
- Oh poor guy he is a slave… GTFO with your lies!

Anger
- You will achieve nothing with making monkey out of yourself. Your cover has been blown.

Repression
- It is not your problem where have I heard that you said… about me. And I will not tell you, find some stupid moron!

Impacting the emotional climate

- You will never be able change my climate because you are not valuable enough to do that. You can change whatever you want, but you will never impact me because your evolution level is lower than mine.

Brain tumor
- Oh common, how that your problem is always bigger and you are always poor slave? Stop lying to me, I see what is behind your mask!

Yelling
- Laugh at them or just say: “Is someone nervous, are you maybe losing the control of the situation?”

Poor me
- Oh common, you need support… then hug them and say in front of 10 people everything you know about their psychological profile or carry your magical paper always with you, they will have no chance for sure

Charisma
- You can recruit as much people as you wish, but you are still lower than me and most stupid person that I have ever met! You cannot fight your battles alone, but you use brainwashed zombies and robots.

Crying
- Oh common, don’t you think that I can recognize real tears from the fake ones?

I love you
- Don’t lie to me, persons like you love nobody but themselves.

I am higher than you
- Not true, I blew your cover. Nothing worser and lower than high opinion about yourself.

You are crazy moron
- No, you are trying to say that you are angry because I blew your cover. I am sure of myself, so your tactics are fail. When people like you call me crazy, that means nothing to me.

I didn’t say that
- My advice is that fatal piece of paper. Write everything, if it is chat you will also have time and chat number… or record everything to the tape… your manipulator is going down, he will ask for excuses, and you know defensive mechanisms, it is time to strike hard!

I am better than you

- Yes you are, but only in one area… manipulating your stupid granny! Why can’t you do anything to me when you are so smart and influentive?

You have to listen to me
- You are not worth enough to be followed. I don’t follow people that are… ( find some excuse, stupid mostly irritiates them a lot)

I need golden watch

- Go and buy it, I am not your sponsor!

Do …. For me

- No, I have a great confidence that you are capable enough of doing it on your own!

Screaming

- Two options – break contact totally or attack their weak spot from all angles, either they will go crazy either you will, no third option

You are selfish

- Yeah, but lot less than you. Words of people I don’t care at all cannot harm my morale at all, so I don’t give a fuck about your insults.

You are always in the spotlight
- Sure, because I know to use my head and cause I never trust people like you.

Accountability

- They will always say that something has been done to them. However they try to tell that, your counter attack is nothing but simple reverting, say everything opposite from their words, or just use deadly type of stubbornness

Vulnerability

- Everybody has a weak spot, even them… If you locate it, strike hard, strike first, strike effectively, they will guarantee leave you alone!

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