10 RULES OF EFFECTIVE PERSUASION

Important sentences:

-          Persuasion is the skill of using words to change the way others think,feel and behave.

-          Persuasion produces internal change in the other person that she or he can use in the other situations.

-          Persuasion can be applied in any human interaction that involves communication.

-          In order to successfully persuade,you will need persuasion wisdom.

-          Persuasion rules focus on a big picture  - planning,opportunity,goals – but not on specific persuasion plays.

Rule 1: There are no laws,only rules

Persuasion is always hard,you can’t simply mark and win the lottery ticket,you are not alone here.It is difficult,changeable and unpredictable;there are no habbits.There is no routine here.You mustn’t always follow the same schema.You mustn’t focus on the same spot or sentence.Simply,you must look for unusual variations,angles and surprising turns.

Example:

You are trying to persuade someone and you know that he is vulnerable to higher knowledge level.You know more than him.But,in a meantime,he changes his personality and he ain’t give a f*ck about anything anymore,maybe he survives some trauma and everything becomes equal to him.Will you use the same strategy and same law?Of course not,you will try to adjust yourself to the new situation.

Rule 2: It is always about the other guy

Who are you actually trying to persuade?Is he listening to you?Do you have strong evidences?Are you having any kind of influence to that person?Are you smarter than that person?And so many other questions…

Example:

Fail:

1)You are trying to persuade Moslem that Alah doesn’t exist.(religious or life beliefs)

2) You are trying to tell NASA Scientist that Earth is not turning around the sun.(your knowledge level is a lot lower)

3)You are trying to persuade person which is dead from the inside that someone loves him/her.(person is left by everybody,and you are telling opposite thing without strong evidences,in her own system of values)

Good:

1)You know a lot more in some area than other person.

2)You are expert in some area,other person knows nothing or very little.

3) You are providing very strong evidences.

4)Person you are trying to persuade trusts you.

5)Other person is gullible.

Rule 3:People tend to resist change

Every time you try to change somebody,he will ask himself:”Is this change worth of that?Will I feel better if I…?”Be patient,changes are not occurring frequently.Change needs time.

Example:

You are trying to persuade somebody that he should eat less cause he is fat.If you tell him without any evidences,this is fail.But if he is weak to girls,you can tell him that the girls will love him more if he loses few pounds.Or tell him that he will look better,he will be able to move more…Remember,we are humans,we all have weak spots,you just need to locate them…

Rule 4:All persuasion is local

Local means that everything is going on in your persuasive situation.You need to be aware of local elements and factors.Important factors are:

-          you and your goals in the moment

-          The other guy and his goals in the moment

-          The nature of relationship between you and the other guy

-          Other stuff that’s going on in that situation

What is you and the other guy?Variables could be mood,mental state,skill or motivation.

What are your goals and other guy goals?Goals are the things you are trying to accomplish,right now with the person,but also in the long term.

What is your relationship?Friends or lovers,colleagues,competitors,supervisor,subordinate,teacher – student,strangers…and it may also be important how long do you know each other…

What is the situation?Everything going on in life around you and around the other guy…religious,political,educational,friendly,work,play,time,date,day of week…

When you combine all of this and your situation,you will realize that persuasion is very,very hard.

Example: You are trying to persuade your colleague that your view on some topic is better.He is not thinking the same,and he disrespects you and he has better grades.Also you are in a trolley car and noise is loud…You are obvious that your chances are not big.

Rule 5:If you can’t succeed,please don’t try!

This is same like you are earning somebody’s trust,if you fail he will not trust you anymore or he will trust you less and respect you less.If you are wrong you don’t have a status quo anymore,you are not authority,you are just one jerk in his eyes.

Example: You are trying to persuade professional K1 fighter that he should attack head of the opponent whose hands are standing in very high guard.This is epic fail,cause every normal fighter will attack first legs or stomach,and after the guard is lowered,head is free for attack and possible KO.

Rule 6:Effective persuasion takes planning

All takes time.You need to be patient.Every persuasion is slightly different and requires a unique plan.

Example: I have a friend(she) that would do almost everything for me.She is very popular,but she doesn’t like to be friend with everybody.I ain’t give a fuck about her at all! I am just pretending that I am her friend because she is so  popular and she will give me a lot more that you can imagine.I needed 4 months to become her good friend.Thanks HF for learning me those wonderfull stuff,it is truth that our relationship is based on lie,but she is blinded and trusts me everything I say for my “emotions” about her. :hehe:

Rule 7: All bad persuasion is sincere

Sincere communicators are lousy persuaders.They call everything exactly how they see it.They will say what moves them,but not what moves the other person.For good persuader,it is very important to be calm,creative and full of wonderful examples,natural feelings and desires.

Example: You are telling someone that you know more than him,just yell that you know more and avoid every kind of conversations.This is not good,cause other people will think that you are avoiding this with some reason,and what is that reason?Even if you really know more than him,explain him in front of other people(or when you two are alone,depends of other guy),calmly and easily why he makes a mistake,and provide example.

Rule 8:Persuasion KISS

You should always find new resources,ideas,thoughts,look step ahead.Deeper situational awareness and skill,you have bigger chances.

Example: Your friend(she) is helping you to persuade someone in something.She knows a lot more,but she won’t talk unless she is rewarded.Hug her,kiss her,tell her gentle words,flirt,gossip…whatever she likes,and “Keep it up”  is always important,raise her motivation…If you know her weak spots,”help” her bypass them or heal them…She will come to you very quickly.

Rule 9:Walk softly and carry a big stick

Power can make problems in persuasion.If you feel yourself to powerful,you will open yourself in one moment and make fatal error.Except of that,be calm,stand on the ground,even be paranoid…this will help you a lot.If you base everything on your power,you will have bigger chances to lose the argument and become poor persuader.

Example:

You are aggressively telling someone that he made an error,for example soccer centreforward that he is always late on centershot.If you yell at him,he won’t know what is his mistake.But if you gently tell him that he has bad start and he should try to start at the moment when the ball was centered by his co-player,maybe you will have more success.Sit and talk to him instead of yelling,explain him why he makes that error,try to correct it on the training,repeat this process few times and he will surely make less errors,maybe he won’t late at all next time,but this will have more effect than yelling.

Rule 10: Power corrupts persuasion

You must practice persuasion,that is a skill.It is not just stupid thing,it needs time,you will need training,experience and tactics.It will diminish if you don’t train often.Use public chatrooms to train online,or use your school or teammates to train every day.

Example: You have two guys.One of them trained heavily on chat,and the other one just thinks that he is the law and that he is the most beautiful guy in the world,with lack of knowledge and wonderful look.Though he has advantage in the start,he will probably lose – lack of skill,info,evidences,knowledge…he will only win if other person is his good friend,or some person that is crazily inlove with him.Otherwise,he will survive epic fail.

I hope you like this thread,please leave comments and don’t leech without giving credits!Thanks! :thumbsup: