- Make it all about you. One of the fastest ways to turn off a guy is to rattle on about your day, your friends, your family — all without asking him a single question. Go for a conversation, not a monologue, and leave room for him to listen and respond.
- Make it all about him. It shouldn’t be a one-sided interrogation, either. Steer clear of 20 Questions so that he doesn’t feel like he’s in the hot seat.
- Scan the room. If you’re constantly surveying your surroundings, he’s going to feel like he’s not good enough — and that you’re not worth the time. Maintain eye contact to show your interest and let him know that you care about what he has to say.
- Say you’re a “guy’s girl.” Bragging that you’re just one of the guys will make him think that you can’t get along with other girls. (Talk about a red flag.) Step back and see what you’re really trying to express, whether it’s your love for sports or your low-key attitude.
- Chug your drinks. It’s fine to sip your drink throughout the interaction, but if you’re looking for lasting love, avoid any top-to-bottom swigs. Drinking heavily can send the wrong signal and you’re likely to ruin your conversation skills.
- Bring up your ex. It may seem like a no-brainer, but any mention of your previous boyfriend(s) is sure to send him running for the hills — or the bar. There’s no need to swap ex stories right away, so do yourself a favor and focus on the present.
- Repeatedly insist on paying. Offering to pick up the tab is nice once, maybe twice, but after that, it starts to seem rude. Allow him to pay and volunteer a polite thanks to preserve his ego.
- Laugh a lot. A laugh here and there shows that you have an upbeat, positive attitude. Nonstop giggling through all your sentences? It’s a bit much. Relax and be yourself.
- Vent about work. Every job has its stresses, but that doesn’t mean you need to share them. Announcing your work-related worries to someone you’ve just met is a surefire way to nix the potential, so emphasize the positive or switch topics instead.
- List your accomplishments. You may think you’re just describing your past, but sharing all your greatest achievements can come across as boastful. Nobody likes to feel like you’re trying to one-up them, so go ahead and convey your expertise, but counter those comments with thoughtful, curious questions about his abilities.
Sunday, August 26, 2012
10 Dating mistakes you should avoid
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